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Garden Club Review at Christmas

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by sku, Dec 26, 2012.

  1. sku

    sku Well-Known Member

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    Just crafted this as a bit of fun! :)

    Arsenal
    As with last year, gardener Wenger’s plot has taken a while to bed in and is yet to show successes, sticking stubbornly to his crop rotation methods, whilst the nursery continues to produce fine cuttings for other gardens.

    Aston Villa
    The young plants introduced this year are starting to show some green shoots under the shadow of the mature trees in the corner of the plot that gardener Collins is expected fell in the New Year.

    Chelsea
    Expensive planting over the years finally paid dividends last May winning the prestigious Village Cup, since then gardener Di Matteo was harshly put out to grass. It’s been a difficult start for interim gardener Benitez – with early critics mistaking fertilizer for weed killer. Almost certainly some old perennials will be lifted at the end of the growing season.

    Everton
    Gardener Moyes’ organic garden bloomed early this year, a contrast to previous seasons, proving again the value of a sustainable approach. However many expect to see his fine blooming Belgium sun flower planted on in the North West later in the year. With a little re-composting, similar results are expected again come the Summer.

    Fulham
    The grand unveiling of the musical gnome as a feature to this plot was for many the highlight of the last year, with relatively little else to catch the eye. Expect an average return this Spring, with a little replanting and pruning adding a little light and colour to an otherwise sparse patch.

    Liverpool
    With the move to a new shared allotment now terminated, gardener Rogers can concentrate on continuing the transition back to the ornamental garden that brought the plot many prizes of yesteryear. Expect a modest crop this year, with promise of more to come in future growing seasons.

    Manchester United
    Careful pruning coupled with gentle introduction of greener plants from the nursery has served gardener Ferguson well over the years. Amazingly a couple of his hardy perennials seem to go on and on, proving the value of his strict feeding and watering methods. As ever, this plot is widely expected to compete again for the coveted Village Cup, though they will have to avoid interference from local swans, who may wish to dead-head their tulips.

    Manchester City
    Some of the most expensive plants have been assembled in this plot over the past few seasons with blooms finally coming through very late last Spring. The opening of the final flower as the judges marked their cards, proved a master stroke from gardener Mancini. As was the case in the last growing season, tending to the thorny Italian and Argentinian varieties will again prove the biggest challenge.

    Newcastle United
    The potting on of relatively unknown French varieties brought great success last year and was instrumental in extending gardener Pardew’s lease on this allotment a further seven years. A few broken stems in the Autumn though has prevented these flowering again to the same density. The pairing of the two similar plants at the front of the plot seems the biggest challenge as they compete for the same space; as such expect one of these to be replanted in the New Year.

    Norwich City
    This kitchen garden continues to produce a fine crop for the table, relying on traditional staples with predictable and consistent results. Don’t expect any wild flowers or exotic plants to reside in this plot as gardener Hughton seeks to build on the successes from the past two growing seasons.

    Queens Park Rangers
    Another season of transition for this plot, with mixed results. Whilst gardener Hughes sought to replace old plants with established and recognised varieties, this cold and scientific approach failed to produce one single bloom. Replacement gardener Redknapp, brought in hastily, has sought to bring the plot out the shade, adding a bit more sunshine and lifting a few weeds. Expected a few more reliable blooms to be added – whether these will prosper in the ericaceous compost of this plot will ultimately determine success or failure this Spring.

    Reading
    After producing bloom after bloom in last year’s nursery, removing the cold frame has caught a few plants cold here with a late frost hitting hard at the turn of the year. It could be a long cold Spring with a return to the cold frame expected by many.

    Southampton
    In the warmth of the glass house last season, this plot prospered. However with the glass removed, whilst the ambitious planting shows great colour and excitement, their fragility has been exposed a few times this Autumn when the frost arrived. Expect a long Winter ahead with a return to the glass protection a real possibility.

    Stoke City
    Unremarkable results have emanated from this allotment, though many are still eagerly awaiting the rarely blooming stable flower to show glimpses of its past glories. As ever, the plot is well protected on all sides by established, thorny shrubs – the signature of gardener Pulis.

    Sunderland
    Gardener O’Neil brought his established methods to this plot early last year to ensure that the blooms came through in the Spring, but since then, failure to fertilise sufficiently has left much greenery with little in the way of colour or excitement.

    Swansea City
    The ornamental garden continues to prosper here, despite many predicting its demise at the departure of gardener Rogers in the Summer. Replacement gardener Laudrup has added some Mediterranean planting including one very successful giant sunflower amongst the bonsai trees and all seem to be bearing up well to the winter conditions.

    Tottenham Hotspur
    Much loved gardener Redknapp, with his unconventional methods, narrowly missed out on the shortlist for the Village Cup last Summer and many still bemoaned the absence of him and his faithful dog Rosie. New gardener AVB has brought some colour after a slow start and continues to develop this plot that has for years been in the shadow of its North London neighbour.

    West Ham United
    Opting for hardy cropping plants, rather than ornamental varieties more traditionally associated with this allotment, has served gardener Allardyce well. The jury’s out on the temporary planting of a tall, young and as yet unproven variety. This may thrive better on being moved again to a more preferred North facing position.

    Wigan Athletic
    Once again gardener Martinez will be relying on late blooms to achieve success in the final months of Spring. Again, some critics are predicting a fallow year, but having mastered this perfectly over the past few growing seasons, the only question is whether the can be repeated again with the same results on the same patch of ground year after year.
     
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  2. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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