just heard a couple on the radio which were new to me and made me laugh out loud: 'As much use as tits on a fish' And the brilliant 'He climbed into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking' Open to bids.
You have a mouth as big as a cows got c&nt! Your arse is so big, you could play f&cking cartoons on it! Everyone has the right to have a face that looks live in, but yours has had squatters!
If l wanted to hear from an assole, l would of farted! or Useless as tits on a bull. or I've seen better heads on a beer. or Thats got a head like a smacked assole.