Firstly I would like to state that I wasn't much good at football but always enjoyed playing it.
I lived in a little village called Hedgerley, on a council estate, the centre piece was a village green. My football career began from about the age of 4 or 5 when me and my mates would play football on the village green using our coats as goalposts, in those days this is how our enjoyment was spent, unless a dog happened to come long and cock its leg over our coats! Hedgerley had its own village team which used to play in the local leagues. When we were a bit older we used to utilise their goalposts but only using one as the pitch was too long. A local man who used to run the club,'MOANING JOCK' , if he viewed us playing in the goalmouth would come and chuck us off saying we were wearing it out.
Went to Farnham Common Primary School and 1st played in their team at about the age of 8 or 9, Right Half to be exact, but not exactly a goal scoring right half only managed one goal at Primary School. When I 1st played the team included older lads, in the year above me, probably because it was only a small school. in 1963 we had a team photograph taken,. Mr Todd ran the school football team, he had forgotten to tell the younger lads that the photographer was coming in and would include a team photo. That did not deter him from a team photo.. 4 of us, myself included were told to put the girls netball shirts and shorts on! The photograph was taken with us wearing the girls kit but still wearing our own school socks and school shoes. I still have that photo..
Hedgerley also had to have a cubs team which used to play occasionally. I was right half still, must have played in about6matches, scored one headed goal 1st Slough cubs but the highlight of my career with the cubs was a 19-0 defeat against 6th Langley, I scored a headed own goal. (Funny how you can remember such specifics)
On to Slough Grammar School, managed to represent their under 12s b team where I played right wing, I enjoyed playing so much I would play any position except goalie. On to the under 13s where I played regularly at right back all season, but some of the team (who thought they were good) thought I was ****, they were probably right..
Slough Grammar never had an under 14 team, by this time, Hedgerley had introduced a youth team, Hedgerley Colts initially made up of all local lads, I played a couple of seasons at right back but lost interest as approaching 15/16 had other distractions.. My abiding memory of Hedgerley Colts was. someone knockd on our front door collecting money for them. My dad answered the door but refused to fork out, he said as far as he was concerned the team was for local lads no matter how good or bad they were. (By this time outsiders had been introduced to the team at the expense of local lads)
Anyhow from 15 onwards my career took a downward spiral. Having discovered the opposite sex but moreso alcohol. From thereon I never kicked another ball in anger but began to enjoy life.
However in about 1976 my career was suddenly resurrected. A work colleague who had heard me talking about my non achievements recruited me to play in a local league for Windsor Dynamoes however my drinking habits had still not subsided, nor had most of the other team, I clearly remember having to run to the sideline in one match and puking. I was playing Centre half for them, initially I only knew 2 other lads in that team, but was known as Joe Bolton and called that on the pitch by the others,, because in training (if you could call it that) I sometimes used to commentate myself as Joe Bolton . Windsor Dynamoes were crap, we ended up 2nd from bottom but the social side was excellent.
Played the occasional 5 aside game since then but nowadays enjoy watching it.
If this forum started a football team, I wouldn't make the 1st team or the subs bench
Still have the occasional pint though......................................
. Our manager put me right side of a midfield 3! I laughed my head off when he said we should dominate possession but played 3 up front. Within 10 mins we had 2 muscle injuries and lads blowing big time. I remember getting the ball wide and going all the way to byline and crossing it to nobody and turned round and though bloody hell it is a long way back 
