Any of you ****s or *****s believe in all that astrology shenanigans? Had a burd once who was certain we wouldn't work out because of our conflicting star signs. She was correct in some sense as apparently being a Scorpio meant she couldn't help herself from being a complete psyco hose beast control freak who wouldn't swallow or take it up the wrong-un. We soon parted. Another freak at work said she was so in-tune with her chakras (or some sh*t) that she could work out someone's star sign as soon as look at them. I said fair play, what am I? Capricorn, you are so much like a Capricorn. Nup. Oh, then it has to be Leo 'cos they are so similar. Nup. Gemini then because there are obviously two sides to your personality. Nup. This went on and on with her 10th guess being the bell ringer. If she'd put all the star sign names into a hat chances are the right one would have come up sooner. I'm an Aquarius if that makes you horny,
And so it was written that Esau did pray to God for an answer to his prayers "Dear Lord in Heaven, please help your loyal subject in his hour of need. I have not lain with a woman for some three summers and mine sacks have turned fair blue as a result. Canst the Lord provide his most devout servant with a decent bit of fanny lest my seed be spilled and be more worthless than the sinner Onan?" And so it came to pass that the Good Lord did provide faithful Esau with a bride from a distant land so that he may be comforted and satisfied with a bit of regular. Before the long winter nights came Esau did parley once more with his maker "Dear Lord in Heaven, please hear my prayer. Your most humble servant is perplexed and cannot help but judge your wisdom. For the burd sent forth as an answer to my prayers is certainly welcome but is odd in appearance. She does not have the olive complexion of other women I have know, but her skin is covered in tiny brown dots which she calls 'freckles' and although she is blessed with an abundance of hair it has the appearance of a sheep bathed in rusty water. She also has rather a fat a*se" The Good Lord addressed Esau directly "My son, you asked for assistance in your hour of need and being a kind and wise God I provided you with everything you asked for. Alas a suitable wife could only be found in a land far, far away where the women are pale of skin, ginger of hair and broad of hip. But know this Esau, if you want any confirmation that I have bestowed upon you a fair prize look no further than your Nubian bretheren next time you are out and about in Galilee and see how the dost covet your wife's assets." And in time Esau came to love she who was called Bridget and she was most appreciative of Esau's efforts to "take it up the Suez Canal", all the while shouting "Soddom and Begorrah!" Amen.
written in the stars a million miles away a message to the main ohh seasons come and go but i will never change im on my way eeeeee please log in to view this image
