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Write the NUFC press release

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jun 24, 2019.

  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Okay so fast forward a week.

    The BZG deadline has passed and they walk away due to Ashley docking them over.

    Rafa announces he’s gone and thanks the fans.

    Now we come to the expected Keith Bishop spun web off bullshit we call the NUFC press release.

    What does it say....? Over to all you budding Keith’s...
     
    #1
  2. Santaseyebrow

    Santaseyebrow Well-Known Member

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    In staying until we win something
     
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  3. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member
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  4. Santaseyebrow

    Santaseyebrow Well-Known Member

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    #4
  5. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member
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    Send it through - I will give it a go.
     
    #5
    Santaseyebrow likes this.
  6. Delusional Full Stop

    Delusional Full Stop Here to serve all your counselling needs.
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  7. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    Sky Sports with an interview with Big Mike -

    "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you suckers fell for it again"
     
    #7
    Santaseyebrow likes this.
  8. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    ‘No comment’
     
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  9. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Here’s the real one.

    It is with disappointment that we announce manager Rafael Benítez will leave Newcastle United upon the expiry of his contract on 30th June 2019.

    We have worked hard to extend Rafa’s contract over a significant period of time, however it has not been - and will not be - possible to reach an agreement with Rafa and his representatives.

    Rafa’s coaching staff, Paco de Míguel Moreno, Antonio Gómez Pérez and Mikel Antia, will also leave the club on 30th June.

    We would like to thank Rafa and his coaching team for their efforts over the last three years and their significant contribution to what has been collectively achieved.

    We would also like to thank our supporters, players and staff for their patience during a period of uncertainty.

    The process to appoint a successor will now begin.
     
    #9
  10. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    **** me! The ****housery of that statement says it all.

    Go to matches and buy the shirts if you want but that's me done completely until Ashley is gone. Not one penny!
     
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  11. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    I binned my ST renewal reminder. Mainly cos I struggle to get to all games but partly the fat ****. Probs 80% the former reason tho.

    I’ll pick and choose matches if I can be arsed.
     
    #11
  12. Delusional Full Stop

    Delusional Full Stop Here to serve all your counselling needs.
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    My guess

    It is with disappointment that we announce manager Rafael Benítez will leave Newcastle United upon the expiry of his contract on 30th June 2019.

    We have worked hard to extend Rafa’s contract over a significant period of time, however it has not been - and will not be - possible to reach an agreement with Rafa and his representatives.

    Rafa’s coaching staff, Paco de Míguel Moreno, Antonio Gómez Pérez and Mikel Antia, will also leave the club on 30th June.

    We would like to thank Rafa and his coaching team for their efforts over the last three years and their significant contribution to what has been collectively achieved.

    We would also like to thank our supporters, players and staff for their patience during a period of uncertainty.

    The process to appoint a successor will now begin
     
    #12
  13. LiamO

    LiamO Well-Known Member

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    Mike Ashley. " I'd **** a corpse for a quid"!!
     
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  14. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    It’s the last bit I laughed at... they haven’t even considered a replacement yet..... tick tock
     
    #14
  15. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member
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    Poor effort - not remotely funny.
     
    #15
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