Seems the logical progression from the last post on worst drunk you have seen to the worst drunk you have been. "I got so drunk that I .............." Fill in the gaps!
I got so drunk that I got knocked back from a club so went away and changed all my clothes inside out to fool the bouncers. I didn't get in.
I'm gonna ****in' do you in you ****in' dick. You a big man eh? **** you ya little peace a ****e. I'll ****in' do you in. Do you know who you're messing with? Ach, let's call it quits. Fancy a pizza?
Sounds dodgy as ****. "Make sure you get a picture of him drinking the stuff. That way we'll have proof and be in line for some decent compensation"
17th birthday I had a half size bottle of rum in my pocket. Drank about 6 pints in the pub which got me pretty pissed then downed the rum in about 30 minutes. They had to call my mum to come and get me.
I've been drunk enough to hallucinate a couple of times. Once when I vividly imagined I was being pursued by agents from the Matrix (and broke my ankle trying to escape ) and a few weeks ago I imagined that a bloke walked part way home from the pub with me and told me that my estate was going to be bombed. I even rung the wife and told her to evacuate ( ). There was also the time I drank 20-odd cans of Caffreys in 4 hours and ended up shagging the local minging slag over a barrel in the cellar of the pub we worked. That rewarded me with a yeast infection and her being obsessed with me for over a year. I was the only bloke well-endowed enough to fill her "bucket fanny", in her own charming words
Are you sure you weren't hallucinating again and you actually got the yeast infection from shagging a can of Caffreys?
I once got so drunk I...pissed in my girlfriends wardrobe. Of course I had no memory of this the following morning. I awoke to find her ice cold arse turned towards me, and her refusing to talk or otherwise acknowledge my existence. Took ages before she told me what I'd done.
Jip is a fantasist. Talking of pissing...my mate got chucked out of the Slimelight club in London for pissing down the stairs inside the club. He also took a piss on our neighbours doorstep and another on the kitchen floor in front of my mum.
Nope. I never make anything up on here. If I was going to invent stuff, do you really think I'd be an overweight, balding bloke with a drink problem and a wife who's sick of me? Back to the OP, there was also the time I ended up in London after a supposedly quiet night in the pub.
