Off Topic Work Based Question

I work in a team, and one of the members of the team is abysmal. Lazy, unprofessional, pushing work onto others, sulking, and basically being a dick to everyone. Let's call them, Sissoko.

Now, Sissoko has been taking the piss more than usual as we find ourselves without a manager, the interim between McClaren and Rafa, if you will. So there is no immediate superior who would have noticed the situation. It's affecting everyone, dragging down morale, and driving up the rest of the team's workload.

So, considering my team are full of people who will be unlikely to have the balls for this kind of action, do I go to the head of the department, let's call them Mike Ashley, and be a twatty twatty grass ****, or the "secret footballer" as you may know them, or do I have to grit my teeth and carry Sissoko forever(or until Spurs come along)?
Thoughts?

 

Nobody likes a grass. Stand up to him directly.

 

In the food chain, where is he to you?

If equal, speak to him direct but perhaps with a degree of subtlety. No one likes being confronted and called a Sissoko.

If below you then again speak to him but with subtlety. Same reason as before.

If above gather evidence and bite the bullet in the short term whilst new boss comes in. Then speak to him, not new boss, but again with evidence and subtlety.

If that fails take pictures of him, Obi and Chippy in compromising circumstances and then blackmail him.

 

Do both.
Tell Sissoko he is a lazy **** and to buck his ideas up. As an employee you have a duty to the business too so then go tell the gaffer and also let him know you've already had a word.
Then sit back and wait for the promotion.

 

Have had some experience like this before so bell me mate if you wanna chew the fat.

 

I take it you are still working in Sunderland then.

 

To be honest JPF, it looks like you've already made huge progress just by being honest and openly admitting what a twat you are. Now give yourself a slap, buck your ideas up and start pulling your weight.

Hope this helps

 

First thing I'd do is put in for the manager's position if feasible. If you get it you can have him on a warning straight away.

Depends on what you do exactly for work but can you make certain areas of your work/projects accountable to specific people in the team, e.g. Sissoko is responsible for putting the crosses in? In fact if you do go to the übermeister, tell him your concerns and ask him to do this so Sissoko is given enough rope to hang himself with? Probably would have a word with Sissoko first but I suspect from your description of him that he'd just be a bell end about it.

 

Fill the lazy twat in!

 

Oh, and remember, it's only work mate. Leave that ****e in the office/workplace as it's not as important enough to affect your life out of work.

 

I have already told Sissoko what a Sissoko they're being (too many Sissoko's? , but it made no difference. In fact they swore at me in front of others in the office, even though I attempted the softly softly approach. Being direct will clearly have little effect.

Unfortunately, I'm at the same level as Sissoko. A further complication, is that Sissoko has a quite fearsome relation in the office (also at the same level) who is known for spreading ****.

 

knock him oot

 

Just tell them both you've ****ed their mams (or nans) in open forum and then make sure that they are comfortable hanging out of your back pocket for the rest of their days.

 

Have the police ever taken a sample of your Dna?

 

You should go and see a Senior Manager and tell him that team work and team morale is suffering due to the absence of an appointed team leader.
Tell him you would be willing to step up and do the job and could resolve the issues causing the problem. He will either ask you what you think the problems are (in which case you tell him) or appoint you anyway as it saves him finding someone else. If he does latter then tell him that you need to restructure team and get rid of the problem.
If you can get £30 million quid to transfer him to the North London branch of your company then even better.

 

This 'work colleague' is clearly French. Just send him back there

 

I would not go grassing - either you'll get a new boss and they will sort it...or you will decide it's time for a promotion and let the bosses know you are the right girl to lead the team.

You need to use the situ to your advantage, think Patrick Bateman

 

Just start leaving pro-suicide propaganda on his desk. That works best I find.

 

Captain Chaos has a large stash he can lend anyone who needs it.