Match Day Thread Wolves vs Saints, Sat 15th January, 15:00

Welcome all you saintly mob for Reverse The Mechanism #6, whereupon we dismantle some Portuguese wolves.

Many of you will right now be thinking, "I wonder what famous wolves there are", and I'm here to help you out. Here are my favourite three famous wolves.

Fenrir, the Wanyama-sized wolf of Nordic mythology, child of Loki, who bit off the hand of the god, Tyr, who had tried to bind him. Not from Portugal, but worth keeping an eye out for as well.

Ian "Wolfchild" Astbury. Singer from 80s and 90s rock stalwarts, The Cult. Ian also fronted the reformed Doors, taking the place of Jim Morrison for a short jaunt of shows in the naughties. Astbury was slightly obsessed with Native American history, and took on the moniker "Wolfchild" during The Cult's 80s heyday. However, he is actually from Birkenhead and is an Everton supporter, so unlikely to figure in Saturday's game.

Mercedes F1 boss, Toto Wolff. Holding the most comedy accent in the Formula One paddock, Wolff has overseen the transformation of the Silver Arrows from average also rans, to multiple champions. At 6ft 5, Wolff would be handy in the centre of defence, but being Austrian, is more likely to be siding with our own manager, rather than the Portuguese chap, Bruno Lager Lager Lager.

In footballing terms, Wolves are quite dull. They don't really do much of interest, just strangle the midfield. Then when you're wondering what's going on, or if ANYTHING at all is going to happen, they annoyingly score and that's that. It's exactly what they did against us at St Mary's, and it's really irritating. They're trundling along quite nicely in 8th position at the moment, slightly under the radar, and don't seem to have suffered since parting ways with Nuno "Old Redmond" Espírito Santo. Still, if we beat them by two goals, we go above them in the league. It's a funny old game.


Old Redmond.

As you all know, thanks to RTM, we're on really quite a pleasant run of games at the moment. This one will be a test, and probably won't be the free-scoring fest of Brentford. But, you know what, we might just f'in smash 'em.

Much of our recent run of form to the unsuspecting public (who are unaware of the power of RTM) is down to our Albanian superstar forward. I say ours, I mean Chelsea's, but he's ours for the moment. However, very few people realise that The Hollies performed a song about him in 1969, and I've taken the trouble to reprint it for you below.

Piss Off Levy, He's Our Broja

We had Shane Long,
We had a Wanyama turn.
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where.
But Armstrong,
Strong enough to bury it.
Piss off Levy, he's our Broja.

So on we go
He's well better than Dan Burn,
Lukaku moves like a bear.
We'll get there.
For I know
We could not afford thee.
Piss off Levy, he's our Broja.

If I'm playing...a through ball,
I'm playing with gladness.
The defenders part
Overcome with madness.
No glove can stop Broja.

It's a Shane Long ode,
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there,
Why not share.

And the loan
Doesn't weigh me down at all
Piss off Levy, he's our Broja.
He's our Broja.
Piss off Levy, he's our Broja, piss off Levy.


(If you were after Wolf Alice content, can I direct you here with our apologies - https://wolfalice.co.uk)

 

Tears in my eyes, giggling inanely.. Can hear Alan Clarke ..

 

I will tune in for this game and expect us to dominate the first half, as we always seem to do, but then I will expect the RTM to kick in and instead of Wolves turning it around and dominating the second half, we will remain on top and win.
I wonder if the oil slick, Traore, would slide off of a gorilla challenge or bounce into the crowd?

 

Going to this one, first time at Molineux as well and after yesterday i can't bloody wait.

 

I was meant to be going, to take my godson (who is a Wolves fan) to his first game. For ticketing reasons we haven't gone for it though, which is slightly a relief as I hate sitting with home crowds vs Saints.

 

Good ground, great atmosphere. A point would be a decent result.

 

I’d expect matching them with 3 CB and 3 in midfield is the way to go here.

KWP in for Tella. And probably Adams in for Redmond

Or maybe a 4-3-3. I just don’t see a return to 4-2-2-2 working for the next few games

 

Tend to agree. It'll be crucial to get a hold on midfield in this one.

 

At what point will teams start to set themselves up to counter our style of play? In short, if we ignore Wolves' expected formation, and play 4-2-2-2-2, will Wolves try to follow our formation, knowing that we can overrun teams who don't change to stop us? OK, maybe the wine is helping here...

 

I mean if we play an extra two players then there might not be much teams can do

Without two properly dangerous number 10s, more mobile version of Romeu and a dangerous partner for Broja then I don’t think it will happen

And probably a more secure defence - CB and GK

Especially not away from home

So basically : at least 5 new players and the retention of one we don’t currently own (if not then 6). Note: this is for teams to actually set up to match / counter. Not for us to be considered a good side

 

Saturday 15th January 2022. 15:00 KO. Wolverhampton v Southampton
Referee: Michael Salisbury.
Assistants: Darren Cann, Simon Long.
Fourth official: Andre Marriner.
VAR: John Brooks.
Assistant VAR: Simon Bennett.

 

We're going to have to beat them by 3 goals and magic up a bonus 4th point from somewhere (EDIT: to get above them)

There have only been 28 goals in total in their 19 games and we've had 54 in our 20 so we are clearly far more entertaining than them both in a good way and a bad way
The next least entertaining side in the EPL witha total of 40 goals, which is a big gap
This may not match the goal fest of yesteryear when we beat them 0-6 and only had 5 shots

We will attempt to entertain them into submission with a lot of laughable shooting and comedic defensive errors

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They will try and bore us to death using a similar comedic to Marcel Marceau

 

Another entertaining match thread laces.
I’m not sure what to expect from this, and we have gone and started to be quite good again, making it even harder to predict; which is rather pleasant.

 

I'm sure that referees only perform a cursory check of player numbers, and as teams have numbers well in excess 1 to 11 on their shirts, we could probably get away with fielding 13 players, just to flood the midfield, have a good defensive line, and have several up front. It's worth a try, anyway...

 

Oh no! Its not hope again is it?

 

Haha old Redmond, love it.

 

She is rearing her flirtatious head, yes!

 

I'd go for a 4-1 set up again, seemed to work last night!

 

Just remind me to put the half time bet on Wolves.

 

If we’re 10-0 up we might give you a week off.