Out of all the garbage in the England team, why pick out Henderson? Ok, so most of the players aren't garbage, they're average, from the world's most overrated and bloated waste-of-talent we once called a wonder-kid which now Man Utd and the nation refer to as "captain", to the Shampoo-selling goalie who looks like he pours those products on his gloves pre-game, to the current incumbent of all our hopes and expectations, the basket which all our eggs are casually discarded like savings in a bank pre-2009, the chosen one (always a 19 year-old?! I think this nation has issues) who will deliver us a shiny object at last as ordained by the prophecy of Joe down the pub, Raheem Sterling... Henderson surely encapsulates that averageness perfectly? Before the inevitable implosion of Man Utd fans, I'll just vent a little, Raheem Sterling is a singularity in over-hyped averageness, because at least the Wayne Rooney of 2003-2005 was genuinely exciting to watch, and worth the hype. Shame he discovered Big Macs and elderly prostitutes, really. What has Sterling done? Shown he can run fast? He had one season where passing to Suarez, no matter how under-hit, or over-hit, or where on the field the pass was made, guaranteed an assist. Must be special . Let's be fair to Rooney again, though the sloppy-gutted Shrek has done absolutely nothing, bar a season of tap-ins, following his wonder-kid years to merit the ridiculous stats Fifa will brandish upon him til he's 99 (the age, although I could understand the confusion as it's probably his first touch rating, which, let's be honest, is in reality as controlled as Saville's on the mental-health ward), he at least galvanizes the Dad's Army of a squad he's been playing in Red with from time to time. Raheem, meanwhile, is anointed Rodgers' bastion of managerial longevity, which seems hilariously misplaced if the insignificant little nat can't affect a premier league game, as he's consistently failed to do without the Bucktooth bandit available to score the aforementioned "assists". If he dropped from National consciousness this second, nobody would notice a difference to Liverpool or England. It would mean Rodger's bastion of mangerial longevity becomes Can or Markovic or, heaven forbid, Balotelli, but alas those signings alone should have seen Brod unceremoniously sectioned had the board had any grasp of sanity themselves.
We needed someone to pass to the opposition, put the ball in our own net and be generally ****e now gerrards retired.
I enjoyed the first sentence. After that I'm not getting put in a keep net thanks "We all dream of a team of Carraghers"
