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Why Heskey is better than Messi

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Medro, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

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    Heskey has never missed a penalty, Messi has
    Heskey has 61 caps for England, Messi has 0
    Heskey has scored 7 goals for England, Messi has 0
    Heskey has scored 100+ goals in the Premier League, Messi has never scored in it
    Heskey is black, Messi isn't
    Heskey's feet are size 15, Messi's are a tiny size 10
    Heskey's shots go out for throw-ins, Messi's don't
    Heskey misses a lot because he doesn't want to upset the goalkeepers feelings, Messi scores because he's a twat
    Heskey has played in more World Cups than Messi
    Heskey has played for more clubs than messi, meaning he is more versatile
    Heskey has been bought for bigger transfer fees than Messi ever has
    Heskey quite clearly has a better haircut than Messi
    Messi played **** in the Champions League semi final against Chelsea, Heskey didn't
    Heskey has never had a bad game in la Liga, Messi has
    Heskey weighs much more than Messi, making him the better man
    Heskey's head is infinitely bigger than Messi's
    Heskey can play without Xavi and Iniesta
    Heskey changes clubs regularly, as he wants to give everyone a chance with his brilliance, Messi just stays at Barcelona
    Heskey has better strength, heading accuracy and aggression on FIFA 12 (the only attributes that matter)
    Heskey has played more times in the Euro's than Messi
    Heskey's middle name is "William Ivanhoe" which is far better and cooler than Messi's middle name "Andres"
    Heskey has had sh|t managers like Alex McLeish and Steve Bruce, whereas Messi has had Pep Guardiola
    Heskey can play centre back, Messi can't
    Heskey has kids, Messi doesn't because he can't score off the pitch
    Messi earns more than Heskey, meaning he is greedier and therefore a pr|ck
    Heskey hits his shots into row Z because he's a nice guy and wants to interact with the supporters
     
    #1
  2. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Medro's shameless plagiarism <doh>
     
    #2
  3. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

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    I didn't claim to make it up Tobore.
     
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  4. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    So why bother sharing something written by a 12 year old?
     
    #4
  5. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

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    Jesus <laugh>

    Tobore moaning again.

    I bet when you spill your beans up a woman you scowl and say "Is that it. That was dissapointing. I hate life."
     
    #5

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