Why did the duck get arrested?

Because he was selling quack.

It's a slow day today on here eh?

 

What are vans scared of?

VANpires

 

Because he failed?

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why did oscar pistorious shoot his wife?

because she called him a ****e hawk

 

Two blondes walk into a building, you’d think at least one of them would have seen it

 

A welsh farmer was ****ing the prize ewe when the sheepdog came over and started licking his arsehole.

Although it helped him come quicker, he couldn't help but think - dogs are filthy dirty bastards.....

 

Why can't you get a disprin in the jungle?

Because all the parrots eat them all!

 

Did you hear about the dwarf clown psychic that escaped last week? The police say there is a

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