Just for a bit of fun... Mine would be a unique mix which I'm sure you would all love to see of Chris Perry/Bryan Hughes/Radostin Kishishev Zero pace and little impact but a very good runner, a strong tackler with good passing technique and excellent defensive positioning. The zero pace really ruined me. I played centre half/right back. Then latterly sub. I am now retired by popular demand (aged just 23) ... Your turn!
I was usually in defence, so a mixture of Morro for ability with Hasselbaink for athleticism. However, I was also a keeper so Nicky Johns combined with Steve Gritt. As you can tell, I was one of those who never got into a high standard of pub football.
Good thread Kish, I am probably a mixture of Chris Perry/Richard Rufus/Claus Jensen Perry - At 5ft 10in I am relatively short for a centre half (by trade, can play right or left back) and my lack of pace means I am better up against taller 'old fashioned' centre forwards than younger, quicker whipper-snappers. Rufus - I am fairly good at anticipating danger and love a last minute sliding tackle. Sadly, I am also an own goal candidate like Rufus Jensen - Quite good passing technique and can deliver a dangerous ball into the box (was pushed out to right wing on Sunday and set up two!) Sadly, I also share the great danes acceleration!
If I play outfield I play the Diego Poyet, break up the play and that, the things nobody notices, or least shouldn't if you are that good... but sadly I am the Danny Hollands... it's not particularly pretty when I do it compared to Diego. In Goal, the norm position for me, a combo of Dean Kiely and Hamer from his first season, I can't kick for the love of god or come out at corners to claim it, like Deano, I am second to none at shot stopping though but flap a bit at handling and am not afraid to b0ll0ck a defender or two for a mistake... like Hamer in his first season.
Right or left wing was my position, though I preferred central midfield. Crowning glory was winning a cup on craven cottage when I was 9 but then being humiliated by the then Mayor of Fulham who pointed out due to my size I couldn't have been the goalkeeper. Being of ''modest'' height (5ft8), used to be in possession of pace, not the most skillful but dual footed - ermmmmmmm John Robinson? Now in my lazy days I like sitting in centre midfield with lots of possession play but reluctant to run.
I was a right back at school because that was where I could do the least damage. Simon Francis, maybe?
Many, many bar-stool footballers claim to have had a trial with a pro club, and it is normally utter bollocks, but I really did have a trial with Brighton in 1993. I was fifteen and playing on the same pitch as Jimmy Case, who just so happened to be coming back from an injury, and I put in a decent performance in front of the watching Liam Brady. Having been asked to return the next week, I failed to attend; I used the train fare to buy two bottles of Merrydown cider and twenty Embassy ***s, and spent the night with two birds from school. I scored a few times that fateful night, but the Brighton thing came to nothing. Left back was my position.
I'm a taller (6.4ft) Simon Church... Would run around put in loads of effort but to no avail... God I was terrible and had a weak shot
I used to be a Colin Walsh type number 11 over the years have have become a grizzled stopper , so a short Paul Miller is say !
I play defence mainly CB, but sadly if I was to compare my self with one of our recent players it would have to be Gary Doherty but with a bit more pace, good in the air and in a tackle, but unfortunately my ball control is shocking, if you want a row Z defender I'm your man, just don't pass me the ball I'm fairly quick on the turn also.
I had the pace of Jacko, the aerial ability of Harriott, the first touch of Pritchard, the football brain of Jordan Cook, could shoot like Church, pass the ball like Lawrie Madden, and had the physique of JFH.
Come on billy, you can't take the best traits from our best players. Sounds a bit far fetched. Surprised you didn't claim to have the stamina of astrid!
