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When I Grow Up.....

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GroveRanger, Jan 18, 2021.

  1. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    Did you ever have to say what you wanted to be in later life when you were at school?

    When I were a lad I'd say it was about 90% Footballer for boys and 90% Nurse for girls.

    Career teacher asked me what I wanted to be and I said I would like to go into the clothing industry, particularly for ladies and more specifically underwear. See, I've always wanted to do something in women's knickers <laugh>

    I really wanted to be a chef until the careers teacher told me the hours were horrendous and the pay was a joke. You only make a crust (pun intended) if you get to be on telly. Maybe this explains my hatred of Jamie Oliver. Having said that it is his fake cockney, lisping, blubber faced smugness that I despise along with his rampant ego thinking the world would be a better place if school children were fed a diet of cous cous.

    The teacher went round our class and asked us what we wanted to be and it got to one kid who said "Postman", we all laughed but he said this would be his dream job. When he left school he became a Postman so I guess he had the last laugh.

    What did you twats want to be? Are you in your dream job now?
     
    #1
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  2. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    I always wanted to be a poofter when I was a wee boy.

    Didn't transpire however.
     
    #2
  3. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    I wanted to draw **** with crayons both then and now
     
    #3
  4. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    I wanted to go bald, sit on my arse doing nothing all day apart from blaming othand hating on brown
    You never grew up you sad little midget. You just got fat and grew bitch-tits.
     
    #4
  5. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    When I was a kid I wanted to be an engineer, which I kind of am. By teens I wanted to be the singer in a band. Nowadays I’m hoping to gain a few sales and a little following in the art world. You’ve got to have a dream or how you gonna have a dream come true?
     
    #5
  6. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    Never too late to try something new. You never know, having a man shove is cock up your arse could be the turning point to endless happiness. Or bad aids.
     
    #6
  7. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    You’ve got to have a dream or how you gonna have a dream come true?

    Very Sensible
     
    #7
  8. Blyth_bucaneer

    Blyth_bucaneer Well-Known Member

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    When I was a nipper an older kid showed me how to make a noose, used to hang my action men with a boot lace using the noose knot. From that point I wanted to be a hangman, unfortunately capital punishment was outlawed so that plan was fcuked. Anyhow, years later I read Albert Pierrepoints autobiography, absolutely fascinating read BTW.
     
    #8
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  9. Ciaran

    Ciaran 2016 POTY

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    An active Irish Republican, like half the class
     
    #9
  10. Ciaran

    Ciaran 2016 POTY

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    Is it outside drawings or do you do interior?
     
    #10

  11. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    structural only

    (civil as well)
     
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  12. As We Know

    As We Know 1 of the top judges in Europe

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    .
     
    #12
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2021
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  13. The Cunnilungus Connoisseur

    The Cunnilungus Connoisseur Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    I wanted to marry a Fenian, her name was McGuire.

    And here we are....
     
    #13
  14. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    I achieved everything I wanted and more very rapidly and now I think I might kmsasap because there's nothing but nihilism, existential angst and a humiliating run in the Europa league to look forward to
     
    #14
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  15. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Can anyone finish this limerick?
     
    #15
  16. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    With tits like ripe melons,
    And knickers on fire.
     
    #16
  17. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    That sounds uncomfortable for you mate but can you finish barrie's limerick?
     
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  18. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    A Fenian bird named Maguirre
    Cried "**** me, I'm mad with desire"
    So she laid on her back
    With one hand on her crack
    And rubbed til her knickers caught fire.
     
    #18
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  19. The Cunnilungus Connoisseur

    The Cunnilungus Connoisseur Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    I married a fenian,

    Her name was McGuire,

    She ordered my flute to be thrown on the fire,

    And as it was burning

    I heard a strange noise

    Was the old orange flute playing the protestant boys

    **** you @julie
     
    #19
  20. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    A Fenian bird named Maguire
    Said build my Derry Sheds higher
    And pray to the apostles
    To fix up my nostrils
    Because the smell of prosecco is dire
     
    #20
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