Did you ever have to say what you wanted to be in later life when you were at school? When I were a lad I'd say it was about 90% Footballer for boys and 90% Nurse for girls. Career teacher asked me what I wanted to be and I said I would like to go into the clothing industry, particularly for ladies and more specifically underwear. See, I've always wanted to do something in women's knickers I really wanted to be a chef until the careers teacher told me the hours were horrendous and the pay was a joke. You only make a crust (pun intended) if you get to be on telly. Maybe this explains my hatred of Jamie Oliver. Having said that it is his fake cockney, lisping, blubber faced smugness that I despise along with his rampant ego thinking the world would be a better place if school children were fed a diet of cous cous. The teacher went round our class and asked us what we wanted to be and it got to one kid who said "Postman", we all laughed but he said this would be his dream job. When he left school he became a Postman so I guess he had the last laugh. What did you twats want to be? Are you in your dream job now?
I wanted to go bald, sit on my arse doing nothing all day apart from blaming othand hating on brown You never grew up you sad little midget. You just got fat and grew bitch-tits.
When I was a kid I wanted to be an engineer, which I kind of am. By teens I wanted to be the singer in a band. Nowadays I’m hoping to gain a few sales and a little following in the art world. You’ve got to have a dream or how you gonna have a dream come true?
Never too late to try something new. You never know, having a man shove is cock up your arse could be the turning point to endless happiness. Or bad aids.
When I was a nipper an older kid showed me how to make a noose, used to hang my action men with a boot lace using the noose knot. From that point I wanted to be a hangman, unfortunately capital punishment was outlawed so that plan was fcuked. Anyhow, years later I read Albert Pierrepoints autobiography, absolutely fascinating read BTW.
I achieved everything I wanted and more very rapidly and now I think I might kmsasap because there's nothing but nihilism, existential angst and a humiliating run in the Europa league to look forward to
A Fenian bird named Maguirre Cried "**** me, I'm mad with desire" So she laid on her back With one hand on her crack And rubbed til her knickers caught fire.
I married a fenian, Her name was McGuire, She ordered my flute to be thrown on the fire, And as it was burning I heard a strange noise Was the old orange flute playing the protestant boys **** you @julie
A Fenian bird named Maguire Said build my Derry Sheds higher And pray to the apostles To fix up my nostrils Because the smell of prosecco is dire