I went to a concert once and was right beside the speaker. My ears were getting really sore from the loudness of the music and I had a lightbulb moment. I spotted my missus eating chocolate eclairs and asked for two of the wrappers. I stuffed them into my ears like earplugs, couldn't get them out and ended up having to get emergency surgery. When I woke up from the anaesthetic, the doctor looked at me with a grin I will never forget. I could see it in his eyes what he was thinking; "That ****ing idiotic bastard nearly gave himself brain damage from a sweetie wrapper"
Lost count of the stupid things I did in my teens/twenties when pished. Climbing across high rise balconies, swimming in the river Tay at Christmas time after coming out of a nightclub, that kind of daft ****. It's remarkable I made it.
Climbed trees and used a petrol chainsaw with no safety ****e. Shagged a heavy dealers burd for a few month. Sold stuff your not supposed to sell *cough* Drank a half bottle of Aftershock. Took some eccys after drinking a litre of vodka. Stuff that made me have to go to court. Just off the top of my head.
Actually I thought it was when you applied to go on ' Who wants to be a millionnaire' and then realised that you had no friends to call.
Stick the work bog brush up your arse at the same time so next time your boss is in he gets a stinky palm. Double bonus.
getting paid to **** is so much more satisfying than a normal ****, its the closest you are likely to get to being a porn star just ask jen
went away in a strange ****s old ****ty motor in vegas to get ching. ended up in a crack den in the suburbs. someone offered me a puff of a joint while i waited for this black **** to weigh out an "8-ball" I thought it would be rude not to. I think it had angel dust in it. when we were young eh? bloody lads
<DAFTcuntSMILEY> Nothin' worse than going to get `stuff' in a dodgy area with a `mate of a mate'. Even if you get ripped aff, there's cockaw you can do about it. <****eETHEBREEKS>
