Thank **** for that, thought for a minute you were gonna say you'd took a bird to your bedroom and banged her rusty bullet hole without her permission.
Once started work in someone's house, it was 9am. Next thing I knew the cheeky **** next door started blasting Billy Idol. Never saw who lived there as the curtains were always drawn.
I’m a professional at work. But I did change my bosses phone number on his email signature to one of my mates. Didn’t go down well.
I was bored in work today so I decided to do Ronaldo's celebration .. but I work with an office full of women ... so there was nobody to bum
Going back after lunch having had 8 pints, wasn't too clever. Getting the pool car clamped outside a drug dealers house not my finest hour either.
Calling a black man a monkey. Lucky we were mates it was one of those awkward silences that followed. I was in a phase of calling everyone being stupid a monkey
Shagging birds that worked in the same place always ended up being mistakes, although one of them was like a porn star so I kept going back for more and making the situation worse every time.
