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What Can I Eat To Fart More?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Sam Axe, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    I rarely fart and when I do it's not loud. I miss all the loud, cheek jiggling farts I used to have and I would like to experience them again, just for a day or two.

    So what can I eat to fart?
     
    #1
  2. jenthesaint1990

    jenthesaint1990 Well-Known Member

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    sugar free sweets. though you'll have the ****s too if you eat lots and you'll probably **** your pants.
     
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  3. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Become a vegetarian like me. Vegetable vindaloos are usually good (see my **** to end all ****s thread).
     
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  4. TommyNooka

    TommyNooka Member

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    Lentil soup and surprisingly haggis pakora (not together though as that would be create what we call a aromatic paradox), they certainly work for me!.....watch out though the haggis pakora farts are not only window rattlers but highly toxic, they're room clearers!
     
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  5. THe Mighty Huth Rocks

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    you are either gay or a woman, get some ****ing beer & steak, then you will fart like a goodun
     
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  6. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Obviously humble pie wasn't working for you last week ! - welcome back

    ( meant to have added this to Huth's post. )
     
    #6
  7. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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    Have your boyfriend fist you more often.

    Job done.
     
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  8. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    Tina. <ok>
     
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  9. AdamBanana20

    AdamBanana20 New Member

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    Why are you a vegetarian?
     
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  10. AdamBanana20

    AdamBanana20 New Member

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    Onion soup,curries...
     
    #10

  11. 5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE

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  12. irishgreen

    irishgreen Well-Known Member

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    Eat more Guinness <ok>
     
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  13. Sir_Red

    Sir_Red Well-Known Member

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    Chickpeas are a dead cert to give you some serious room clearing farts.
     
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  14. di Fredsta!

    di Fredsta! Well-Known Member

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    Eat your own farts by bending over backwards and putting your mouth next to your buttcheeks. This will make everything inside of you want to come out. It will either burp or fart. <ok>
     
    #14
  15. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    Chilli or curry washed down with plenty of beer.
     
    #15
  16. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Because I don't eat meat <ok>
     
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  17. Bobby Pires

    Bobby Pires Well-Known Member

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    Baked beans, mexican food, indian food.

    I have a weak form of IBS so I'm always gassy, it's not fun after a few years.
     
    #17
  18. strikeforce21

    strikeforce21 New Member

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    Lemon soda is best option
     
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  19. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    lentil soup and spicy humous <stereosfavourite>
     
    #19
  20. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Stop talking **** all the time and your gas will build up naturally and exit through your rectum. <ok>
     
    #20

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