Cosmo survey says we are all suffering anxiety over how to live up to porno films and actors. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...damaging-relationships.html?ito=feeds-newsxml My bird had never seen a porno before meeting me, on one hand I was pleased when she said she'd be interested in it (opens the doors to experimenting) but on the other there was no way I was going to be able to keep up the pretence that I had the biggest cock in town! Had to try and convince her that they only used mutant men in the films and have held back the defence of "Well if you think I should look like him then howabout you start to smarten yourself up and look more like her!" until it is required. Admitedly the blokes are usually fresh out of the gym and have dicks that would shame a horse but the birds are also stunners, their tits point upwards, no stretch marks, they take it up the sh1tter and will swallow. If my bird was like that I'd be hitting the weights and the Swedish pump!
Not sure if using a flavour of ice cream is suitable to describe sex as it opens up a whole new lexicon; Chocolate - up the Gary Glitter Rasberry Ripple - flids, *****s, paralympics Pistachio - urinating on the top lip Rocky Road - like Chocolate but with hemorroids Neopolitan - threesome Clotted Cream - thrush
FeMail is packed full of paparazzi photos of celebrity birds in bikinis, sex scandals, bra adverts etc. Poor mans porn when the pervert filter is switched on at work. Sometimes you have to get your jollies where you can. Like this http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...photo-shoots-hubbies-theyre-fighting-for.html Anyhoo ER, have you finished looking up pictures of before and after sex change operations?
The Mail - the comments - best thing on t'interweb: This is how big a penis should be, don't believe the porn INDUSTRY lies: [NSFW] please log in to view this image [/NSFW]
"oops, wrong hole"!!!! For that to be an issue she must have had it happen to her a few times. I always prefer "I'm sorry my dear, I appear to have changed lanes without indicating"
Used to watch porn with my ex. Didn't see a problem with it, nor did she. Probably because I'm a handsome bastard with length like a babys arm holding an apple. I tried the "wrong hole" manoeuvre few months back with some bird. We were both steaming drunk and going at like rabbits, she moved over on to her side and lifted her legs up and I took that as an invite. I got a swift "No not in there". Laughed it off and got on with my business.
Only ever tried to 'pot the brown' after getting an agreement first. After lengthy discussions mind, usually after a bout of finger banging the ring-piece and half a bottle of Jack Daniels. Lovely feeling to have a bird offer it up as opposed to trying to hit you with a lamp for trying it on when she least expected it. A mate of mine was on holiday (****-island somewhere in the Med) and was banging this northern bird who looked over her shoulder while he was on the job and said "You can shove it up ****ter if you like". Classy.
Got it a few times off an ex after me pestering her for a bit and a few more times off a **** buddy I had years back, she suggested it then. "Shove it up my ****ter" Classy as ****.
