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Urbany Legend Type Things That You Believed When You Were Younger...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bib Fortuna's Maw, Jan 6, 2012.

  1. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    and yet might be true.

    Now, that I have 2012's award for snappiest thread title in the bag, I can proceed.


    Are there any daft (or, as they turned out, not so daft) things you heard as a teenager that you believed for a while afterwards and are perhaps still unsure if they're correct or not?

    Obviously, the early appearance of Snopes on the net dispelled many of these but there are a good few that are not properly blown out of the water/I can't be bothered googling them because I quite like them.

    I was told that rigor mortis caused you, as a corpse, to have a "Des O'Connor"* and the only way to avoid this was to die either by asphyxiation or drowning.

    I'm still not sure if this is true or not and every funeral I've been to since, I'm thinking;

    "I wonder if he's got a rager in there"



    *For the benefit of the pretenders**, this means an erection

    **People unfortunate enough to not be Scottish.
     
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  2. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Gay
     
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  3. Cyclonic

    Cyclonic Well Hung Member

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    Urban Myth.
     
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  4. Go G YellowScreen

    Go G YellowScreen Well-Known Member

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    Two that I can think of:

    One, that one of my neighbours was an evil child killer and if your fitba went into his garden he would puncture it with a knife and if you went in to retrieve said fitba you would be dragged off and never seen again. Surely every kid has a similar tale?

    Two, bizarrely, a rumour started in my school that if you farted and burped at the same time you would die.
     
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  5. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    Putting in the effort at school would help you in life
     
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  6. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    Yes except when i was wee it wasn't disappearing that was the problem it was getting shagged <laugh>

    On another note every child in my family has had a monster dedicated to them when they where children, Haggis Basher, Maggie Murphy, The Wort Witch etc.
     
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  7. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    How's your penis right now, sweetie?
     
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  8. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED
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    We had one of those, we used to call the wall around his garden the Berlin Wall, anything that went over it was never to be seen again. <yikes>
     
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  9. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    Similarly, if you sneeze with your eyes open, your eyeballs allegedly fell out - I believed this one for years.

    I remember seeing Conspiracy Theory and, when Gibson's eyes are taped open, I was thinking "Don't sneeze FFS"
     
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  10. nufc4life

    nufc4life Guest

    what about jesus turning water into wine ,if this is true hes welcome to my parties anytime
     
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  11. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    There used to be a rumour that a gang of killer clowns that drove about in a blue transit van. It turns out something like this did happen, but a kid got snatched by a guy dressed as a clown <laugh>

    I used to be **** scared playing football at the back of the school in case they came and got me <laugh> I even had a quick getaway where they couldn't get me with the van.

    That was in my primary school days.
     
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  12. gotcoffee

    gotcoffee Member

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    Was just about to type exactly the same .. although are you saying this isn't true?

    Also, when you laugh your hole opens .. 'gay' must derive from this, and also explains why people let sneaky farts out when having a good old chuckle .. <ok>
     
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  13. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Got a semi waiting for ER to log on <diva>
     
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  14. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    Apparently, your superior and inferior rectus muscles are firmly attached to the eyes and this can't happen.

    I was once in a Higher* Latin class and tried so hard to stop a sneeze that I farted out a wee squeaky squeezer.

    If I'd done a big cracking fart, I'd have been proud of it but this inadvertant ladyfart gave me a riddie**

    *A-Level
    **blush
     
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  15. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    I fell for the Victor Lewis Smith one about there being a 'Master Bates' and 'Roger the Cabin Boy' in Captain Pugwash.

    Any time the subject came up down the pub, everyone (myself included) would laugh and ask 'how they got away with it?'

    Never ****ing happened, that's how.
     
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  16. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    I heard that one as well but i heard a different version to "Roger the Cabin Boy" it was Seamen Staines.
     
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  17. Go G YellowScreen

    Go G YellowScreen Well-Known Member

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    I heard a similar one about Are You Being Served? and that they tried to get an many rude names as possible.

    Mrs Slo(w)combe
    Miss BRAhms
    DICK Lucas
    Captain PeaCOCK
    Bert SPOONER

    Utter bullshite of course.
     
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  18. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

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    The Indian restaurant one, the one where 'so and so' got a curry, and was violently sick for days afterwards, the doctors took a sample of the barf and found 18 different types of semen in the curry.

    TBH - that could've been Tina?

    please log in to view this image
     
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  19. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    Not enough for Tina, thats too softcore for tina...
     
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  20. Go G YellowScreen

    Go G YellowScreen Well-Known Member

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    Next you'll be telling us that the story about Richard Gere and the gerbil isn't true either.
     
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