A tale of two intrepid football fans of Gillingham FC as they go in search of league points . We're not REAL camels, even if some of the football we watch following our beloved team, Gillingham FC gives us the 'hump.' But as we travelled to our next destination, Port Vale, procamelus and 'git' were in good spirits after a pleasing 2-1 midweek win and much needed 3 points. But little did we know that we would end the day with more hump than we started. The journey was certainly a hellish one. It began with an about turn and a magical mystery tour of Strood railway carpark - to pick up a mystery traveller.We were told he was related to the Chairman - but as he came heavily disguised, nobody could tell his identity. He looked as if he had come dressed for a Halloween party. It would seem that he brought with him a curse - for at our last pick-up at Tollgate the coach failed to start and Roger ( our driver ) had to telephone the depot for technical assistance. 10 minutes later and we were on our way - for a marathon 6 hour journey - that seemed to pass through Hell - as we got stuck in heavy traffic on all the roads north - including the detour off the M6 - otherwise we would never have arrived at the ground at 2.59pm !! -- and without taking in refreshment.And just for good measure some idiot from Port Vale decided to lash out at our coach as it crawled through the last half mile to the ground - causing the door to malfunction - this immobilised the engine - so we had to walk the last bit. The first (un)interesting fact I shall give you today is to say that 'git' is a term for a young camel ( I'm not the procamelus one !) Port Vale. What can I say about the place ( from inside the coach ) -I wouldn't recommend the town to our recently sacked manager, Martin Allen - although he'll be interested to know that it is NOT in Wales. I have struggled to find enough interesting facts about Port Vale to fill in an episode of Qi. What I do know is that it is not the geographical 'end of the world' - that's 41 miles away (Shrewsbury) Now, as a youngster I hadn't got a clue where Port Vale was in the country - and had no interest in finding out. I dare say that there were kids in Port Vale asking " Where the hell is Gillingham?" Short answer - Its where mad dogs are quickly put down by their owner - although more often it is the owner who is in need of being muzzled.( and his typewriter smashed - it keeps on writing rubbish. ) - I'm talking about the Chairmans message last week - NOT my thread !! As it turns out, currently, Hell is not a bad description of what it is like for the fans from Kent. After last weeks loss at home to Preston I noticed that brb had changed the location in his profile to Hell ! I sent him a private message because I was worried that he had hacked into my laptop and found the draft copy of this report in which I had already compared Gillingham with the Devil's home. However a more poetic description might be that Gillingham is a place where the hopes and fears for L1 survival is like walking on a tightrope over the fires of hell - with no balance pole. Port Vale ( or Burslem to be precise ), is one of the 6 towns that make up Stoke. With every respect to its' inhabitants, it is not an interesting place - and to think that a current, freaky member of Stoke's squad ( Peter Crouch ) had the cheek to call people from Gillingham " Hillbillies " !(should that be Hellbillies ?) I suppose that Vale might be one of the 'second' names of a football club that contestants in a pub quiz might not remember - along with other equally uninteresting places like Stanley, Alexandra & Bournemouth ( AFC ) Gillingham shares other 'interesting' trivia with Port Vale. Last season Vale also managed to escape from League 2. This was achieved largely by the goals scored by a Pope (Tom). As things stand this season, it would seem that Gillingham could do with help from THE Pope. Certainly it is looking more likely that they will need divine intervention to prevent being condemned to Hell at the end of the season. Port Vale's home is Vale Park. The ground has a stand, that despite being started in 1999, is not yet finished ! The Town End at Gillingham is very much a work in (non) progress since nineteenhundredandfozentodeath - and certainly wouldn't win any awards from Channel 4 Grand designs. Even Kevin McCloud's beach shed had a roof! Parts of Vale Park have been cannibalised - with steelwork & roof from the club's old ground, plus parts of the roof from Chester City's old ground being recycled into Port Vale's current home. I am sure that these frugal measures, ( not necessarily miserly ) would meet with the approval of the Gillingham chairman - who spent the princely sum of £1 to buy the club in 1995. I must clarify - that is £ one (singular). Some people say that he hasn't paid out a lot more since. That's not fair - just ask Mark McCammon how generous Mr.Scally can be. One thing is for certain - Mr.Scally isn't going to pay about £6 a pint for Camel milk, no matter how good it is. ( it does exist ) Talking of Mr.McCammon leads on to another 'similarity' between the two clubs - although it is a similarity of which I am ashamed. Very recently Port Vale's fans have been accused of racism towards one of their own players - Exodus Geohaghan - causing the chap to live up to his Christian name. Sadly Gillingham have also been tarred with a similar racism brush - although I still believe that it was really ONLY an almighty HR cock up - not providing its players with snow shovels! Some football clubs are supported by Pop Stars. Port Vale & Gillingham are followed by two giant heavyweights of the music industry. For Vale it is Robbie Williams. For Gillingham it is Rik Waller - Who ? Well he was in Pop Idol in 2001. He also featured in Celebrity Fit Club in 2002 - but was expelled for cheating. He was caught binge eating - about the same time as the other contestants 'disappeared.'His music career was short lived and ended in 2004 when a gig attracted only 2 paying customers ( FACT ) - and I think one of those was a friends for a £5 !( No, BSG, I can't let go of the Season Ticket Holder issue .) Port Vale's nickname is The Valients - which the dictionary describes as a 'brave person.' - or as an adjective to 'possess bravery'. As it turned out - it was the faithful fans from Kent that displayed bravery in turning up for yet more misery in this Vale of tears. They had come to blindly support their heroes, more in hope than expectation that The Gills might collect precious points in their quest for L1 survival. Unfortunately the performance of their favourites was not so much Valiant as cowardly as The Gills surrendered the three points on offer. Luckily for the Gillingham Northern Elite camels their only entertainment was off-site on the day, and it would be a much shorter journey home to their beds. I blame itstimupnorth for my sinking feeling - He chose the pre match venue - The Bulls Head - a Titanic brewery pub !- but brb and I were left high and DRY before we got to the game. The game wasn't overly bad - apart from the result. Kedwell rose at the far post for a free header in the 13th minute to give Gills the lead. Gills then were reasonably comfortable in containing Vale as they ( naturally ) pressed for the equaliser. 1-0 at half time was looking good for at least a point - but that went out of the window within two minutes of the restart. A few minutes later Vale called on the divine assistance of Pope and he duly obliged - easily climbing above his marker for a header from a fairly acute angle -that I thought Nelson, in goal could have done better to keep out. After this the game ebbed and flowed - Gills tried to create openings to level the scores - but were always too slow in the build up. So whilst Gills tried, they weren't good enough and came home empty handed. The adventures of the two camels are becoming boringly repetitive in their outcome. It does seem that more account is given to non football related matters just to try to make them interesting. Little content involves anything to do with actual play ( not a bad description of the content of the performance from The Gills players.) Very soon a description of this aspect of the day will be consigned to one word - 'Ditto.' I hope that you found this quite interesting and have managed a small smile at this account of two camels as they journeyed from Hell and back.See you all in Sheffieild - where I expect that The Blades will be put Gillingham to the sword.
Good write up. Personally I felt today that pick up was one of a complete P take. Our time is limited on our travels and I have no problem with hold ups from Gillingham supporters in unprecedented situations. But sadly this diversion was made due more to name than anything imo...and i'm not happy. It completely screwed our schedule for the day and as you say alwaysright, if you follow us on our travels it is not all about the football, where wins this season are few and far between. Its about the entire day, adventures and customs of traditional football supporters, that seem to get eroded in the modern game. Hence we missed the meet up with our friends at the local real ale watering whole...due to the subsequent knock on affects of an individual we have never met before. Let alone the final aspect of the journey had to fall to those numpties in Vale who decided to attack our coach. Thanks guys...hopefully Gills fans will treat your travelling faithful with better hospitality than replicating a bunch of dickless idiots who cannot hold their ale, very brave guys there was women at the front of that coach. As for the Gills performance...well Peter Taylor's got plenty of work to do. ps. I should say...I do know who our illustrious passenger was...alwaysright you have a PM...missed your chance mate...lol
Journey from hell? I don't know what you are talking about, we had plenty of time of a couple of leisurely drinks in the local watering holes ;-)
Actually we never made it to the Bulls Head as we couldn't see it from the main road, and instead went in to a very pleasant pub on the main road that BSG and LeedsGill had tested out last year. But I will keep the wonderfully simple but effective hand-drawn map showing the location of the Bulls Head relative to the ground, created by alwaysright that he gave to me when we met up inside the ground on the basis that he wouldn't be needing it. Hopefully it might be of use next year. Whatever the drawbacks of Burslem, it would seem that a paucity of decent pubs is not among them.
What's up with this guy - I didn't have any problem ( once I got there ! ) - he could have saved himself the trip to Port Vale and read my thread. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-24743660
LOL...how long though alwaysright before we will be suppressed? I saw this story a few days ago on twitter and retweeted it. I eventually found the section i was looking for near the bottom of the BBC article stating he now does his reporting from the stands by buying a match day ticket...so yes he could have joined us grumpy camels. Plus he could have reported on inbreds that damaged our coach. Although i doubt the stands will be a safe haven for many of us before long, as they erode our freedom to protect marketing. Don't believe me...well i've previously had the email warnings from the football league over youtube...hence i kept to the avenue of solely writing in the end. I wonder how long before i will not even be allowed to upload my match day pictures. Believe it or not there are even restrictions on pictures. However, I'm sure you all remember a certain other club having its moments re bans...http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentonline/newsarchive.aspx?articleid=30764
brb Liptrott's ban is probably Scally's most pathetic move thus far - and it didn't work - I saw Alan many times at Priestfield - on one occasion he sat next to me - until a steward recognised him and turfed him out of his seat and threw him out of the stadium..... this was more embarrassing than the McCammon business ! edit - talk about suppression - I don't suppose I'll be invited back to Rotherham after Mr. Evans reads what I have to say about him in my upcoming camel thread when we visit Rotherham this Month. I might actually be sailing close to the wind about being allowed into Priestfield, if Mr.Scally loses his sense of humour with me.
