'Twas Two Nights Before West Ham...

...And all through the clubhouse
Jenkins was stirring
There was rumours to douse
The players stockings were hung
By their lockers with care
Thoughts of not making the lineup
Was to hard to bare
The players were cringing
Not smug in their beds
While visions of MOTM
Pranced through their head
I fondled a beer as I snapped off the cap
To settle my nerves
They were starting to snap
When out on the pitch
Arose such a chatter
I sprang from my chair
And ran to empty my bladder
Away to the window
I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters
And threw up on the sash
Chewed food on my chest
And on the new fallen snow
Made me think of our problems
Oh how we need dough
As I tried to focus
My eyes were amiss
When my eyes could see
There was Coach Curtis
" Now Taylor Now Corker
Britton and Ki
On Williams On Ayew
Fernadez and Rangel
On Siggy and Routs
And I heard him exclaim
As he walked out of sight
Merry Curtismas to all And to all a good fight

 

Fair play Roof, a good effort And my compliments to the beer soaked spell checker too