DAVID Moyes has been advised by his predecessor to boost Manchester United’s league position by getting more goals. In a secret meeting between the two, former manager Sir Alex Ferguson also explained that keeping the opposing team from scoring goals at the other end could really make a difference. Sir Alex said: “David complained that no matter how balanced his team is or how visionary his tactics, they seem to lose points because of some numbers up on a big illuminated board. “I told him that, at the most basic level, winning a game means scoring more goals than the opposing team in 90 minutes. “Although of course the refs always gave me 98.” United’s 2-0 win against Swansea came after Moyes followed advice which he has privately disdained as being old-fashioned. He said: “I suppose in the days of 4-4-2 and hoofing it up the pitch goals seemed like a big deal, and if you’re playing against a smaller club they’re effective. “But for our game against Chelsea next week I hope we can return to what really counts: Prozone statistics, sponsorship revenue, and debt-profit ratio. “However I shall be emulating Alex in buying a racehorse with the Glazer family and then taking them to court for a share of the stud fees. “Well, I say a racehorse. Ryan Giggs.” Fergie also defended Gary Nevile after he was arrested for attempting to scale David Moyes’s garden fence while carrying a gun. please log in to view this image The former United player was found with a pistol, sack and a signed photo of Alex Ferguson in the early hours of this morning. Neville’s nearby car had the engine running and the boot open. Inspector Denys Finch Hatton confirmed: “We arrested a 38-year-old man at 3am in Wilmslow on suspicion of training the defence of set-pieces with the use of menaces. “The arrest may lead to further charges relating to an incident in December where a tactics whiteboard was used as an offensive weapon.” Neville was seen leaving Sky’s Sunday Night Football studio yesterday evening swigging from a bottle of Lucozade Sport and muttering the phrase “Europa f**king League” under his breath. Cheshire constabulary said Moyes’s police protection cannot be boosted because his allocation of officers already exceeds that of David Cameron on a visit to Liverpool. Manchester United have offered their manager time away from his post while the criminal investigation is completed and have suggested eight years’ gardening leave as an initial period of rest. Finch Hatton said: “Neville is currently being held in a maximum security cell as the blue police uniforms could remind him of City, Chelsea and Everton, all of which seem to set him off again.” http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport
Watch it lads mods are watching I can see both of them keeping an eye on things I'd say Ruff is the good cop though and Sweats deffo the bad one
