A number of years ago (1996 I believe) I was with a group of friends staying in a hotel just outside Honfleur where a large group of young men in tracksuits were also staying. It turned out the they were the Le Havre football team and I got chatting with some of them. They said that their manager liked them all to stay together in the hotel the night before a game for intensive team building and preparation. I asked them who they were going to play the next day. None of my companions spoke french well enough so I was translating for them and when I said "They are going to play Toulouse tomorrow." all of my friends collapsed in heaps of laughter. Despite my best efforts I couldn't get those young French lads to understand the reason for my friends' mirth. Very corny but absolutely true. Do you have any true and funny football related stories.
I bet there are a few here that will have the same expressions on their faces as those French players after reading this.
I have plenty more to tell and they are even better. I'm just warming to my task. I shall keep you all enthralled all day. Except the cynics of course.
Aww, I was only kidding with you StG. Your story was indeed quite amusing, but FLT's reply made me choke on my tea, so I had to go with that reaction. Btw, I've edited the quote..!
Back in the late 1960's we were all crammed into the Dell to watch Liverpool, who of course had brought a big contingent with them. There were quite a few near where we were standing under the West Stand. The gates were closed quite early that day. Some time before kickoff a man collapsed in the Archers Road end and was being carried past us on a stretcher, when a Scouse voice was heard crying "hey stewards, you can let one more in now!" I know it's lost a bit in the telling but everyone creased up at that.
During WWII an American soldier woke up in a British Army hospital some way behind the lines. He grabbed the first person he saw in a white coat, and asked "Doc, give it to me straight. Did I come here to die?" "Nope," replied the medic "you came here yesterday."
That's an old Spike Milligan joke. Same as the one about the bloke who goes to his dentist for a check up... Dentist: Do you know you acute halitosis..? Bloke: Oh, that's very kind of you..! The old ones are... old.
And forgive me, but neither of these are in any way related to football! I don't believe Godders and I know the only two football funny stories.
Well I can't remember any. You were lucky [or perhaps not] I could remember any funny story from any subject.
I am ashamed to add the following old joke that always made me laugh when I remembered it (very sad, I know). 'I've just had to shoot my dog.' 'Was he mad?' 'Well, he wasn't very pleased.'
We took our dog to the vet and while the vet was examining it she said: "Its no good I shall have to put him down." I burst into tears and said: "Is it really that bad? Is there no hope at all?" The Vet said; "Oh no. Its just that he is very heavy."
My wife laughed at me when I told her I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta. Football related you say? What have Man City and a three-pin plug got in common? They're both useless in Europe.
