Transfer Speculation

To end all speculation on the Joey Barton transfer rumours, I came across this article in time traveller news:

http://www.news.time-traveller.com/football/barton-sale-sparks-outrage

I don’t know how long the article will stay up for as those time traveller lot have very strict rules about giving away the future - ever since Mike Ashley tried to cash in by purchasing several hundred thousand green and white tops on the cheap to be sold through his stores following the time the ‘2019: Blyth Spartans reach English Premiership’ story was accidentally leaked.

In case it is removed, here is the full article:

“Following this summer’s purchase of Joey Barton from Newcastle, Aston Villa fans today showed their outrage at the purchase, in an episode that will surely go down as one of the grimmest in the second city’s history.

Speaking at the press conference to unveil the signing last week, Villa manager Gerard Houllier stated that Barton was one of a number of signings that he would be making during the summer transfer window to take the club forward. ‘If we succeed in attracting all of the players we are looking at, then I honestly believe I can lead this club into the top 14 of the premiership’ said an optimistic Houllier.

However, initial excitement amongst Villa fans soon turned to outrage once they discovered that it was Joey Barton they had signed and not, as had originally been reported in the local newspapers, Newcastle’s sensational centre-half from the early 80s David Barton. Barry Puddin from King’s Norton summed up the fan fury when he stated, ‘All of us were really excited about David Barton coming to the Villa. Many of us still have posters of him up on our bedroom walls in his tight, short shorts like. I cannot tell you how disappointed we are to learn that this whole episode was a misunderstanding. No literally I can’t. I don’t know the words.’

In a campaign believed to have been organised on the not606 site, all twelve Villa fans demonstrated against the signing at Villa’s home game against Sunderland on Saturday. However, the demonstration soon descended into chaos and riots. Villa fans went on the rampage both inside and outside of Villa Park, causing over £400,000 of improvements. Local MP, Richard Shepherd, stated that ‘this was the worst case of improvements that had been caused to the city ever since a tornado struck Small Heath in 2005. At that time people were wandering through scenes of devastation and muttering unintelligibly, and then all of a sudden a tornado came out of nowhere.’

Joey Barton was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press.

Police praised the behaviour of the Sunderland fans for not joining in with the rioting. A spokesman from SAFC echoed the police sentiments and added ‘it is a well known fact that our fans don’t get involved in improvements of this nature. They all condemn improvement which is why they are such loyal fans of this club.’”


PS: I understand the site has now been taken down until 2019 to avoid anyone else cashing in on the Blyth Spartans story.


Well, its as reliable as anything else we read

 

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