Two Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland. One turns to the other and says "Hey Arthur! See if this plane turns upside-doon will we fall out?" "No way Richard," says his mate "of course we'll still be pals!!" Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice. Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea? A: The tea stays in the cup longer! Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit? A: The accused. How did you enjoy your holiday in Israel?' 'Smashing!' 'Did you visit the Wailing Wall?' 'Yes - but I couldn't get anyway near it for the Arsenal supporters!' Bet now at bet365.com - includes football betting. Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly? A: So blind people could laugh at them too! Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv. Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again." The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?" The other man replied "It's quarter to five." Q: What do you call 100 Arsnal supporters at the bottom of a cliff? A: A good start! Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet? A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal" are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!" Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? A: Nice tattoo Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test? A: A cheat. Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal? A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second! Email These Arsenal Jokes to your Friends
Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal ?? It saves time. Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet ?? So they know which end to wipe. Why do Arsenal men like smart women ?? Opposites attract. What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi ?? A burglar. What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job ?? "can I have a Big Mac!" What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit ?? The accused. Did you hear about the Conservative MP who was found dead in an Arsenal strip? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarassment. Did you hear the one about the kid who asked for a cowboy outfit for Christmas ?? His Dad got him an Arsenal kit. What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain ?? Gifted. How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die ?? Alone. How do you make an Arsenal fan's eyes light up ?? Shine a torch in his ears. Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work ?? Because it takes too long to retrain them. What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear ?? A wind tunnel. Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory ?? He kept throwing out the W's. What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head ?? A Space Invader. A is for Arse, a team that's truly awful B is for Boring, boring boring Arsen*l C is for Corruption, bung and all D is for Donkey, who can't kick a ball E is for Endsleigh, that's where they belong F is for Fine, they'll be paying another before long G is for Graham, the most successful chief H is for Ha Ha Ha, he was really a thief I is for Incidents, in a past they can't bury J is for Jensen, who didn't score too many K is for Kill, that's what they do to the game L is for Laugh, when they bring it into shame M is for Merson, who sniffed up a line N is for Nayim, from the half way line O is for Offside, their favourite tactic P is for Paris, and we were ecstatique Q is for Quick, get past the back four R is for Rubbish, 'cos they're really that poor S is for Sunday, in April '91 T is for Tottenham, who beat the scum 3-1 U is for Ugly, so much of it, it should really be in a bank W is for ****, Ian ****, ****, **** Y is for Why, are they such a big bore Z is for Zero, 'cos that's all that they score Q.
Q. How long has Tony Adams played for Arsen*l? A. Donkeys years. Q. How many Arsen*l players does it take to change a light bulb? A. Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap. Heard the one about David Seaman? He never keeps a clean sheet. When Gazza scored at Wembley, Seaman was all over the place. Q. What's the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsen*l team? A. One takes dope and the rest are dopes. Q. What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common? A. Their both red and white and full of coke. Q. Why is the pitch at Highb*ry so green? A. Because they keep putting lots of **** on it. Q. Where do Arsen*l players / fans go to die? A. (Answer needed, apply within) Q. Where do Arsen*l players / fans go on holiday? A. (Answer needed, apply within) 666 - The number of the beast. 6 - The number of the donkey. Q. How come Arsen*l fans don't fall asleep during a match? A. The smell of their ground keeps them awake. Q. What's the highest selling item in the Arsen*l souvenir shop? A. Pro-plus (sleep repellant). Q. What's the second highest selling item in the Arsen*l souvenir shop? A. Horlicks. Knock Knock. Who's there? George. George who? You're on the jury! Q. What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsen*l player, surname George? A. One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie. Q. What is the difference between Jon Pertwee and Ray Parlour? A. Ray Parlour still looks like Worzel Gummidge. Q. At Highb*ry, what is the difference between the words 'disciplinary' and 'football'? A. 'Disciplinary' is the only one associated with the word 'action'.
