Ever killed anything? Yesterday I was going for a kebab, this stupid seagull chicken (people who live near the coast will understand , and how big they are) Anyway this **** was giving it large, strutting down the street like hiag on coke. Big fat bastard ****, just looked at me as if to say ' **** off pal, this is my manor'. It underestimated my beast. So I flattened the ****. **** you gull. It's life was short. ****ing arrogant twat. Any natural born killers out there?
I killed a big spider with a pair of shears. Nearest weapon available, and stamped on the ****er for good measure.
I farted loudly at the start of an after rave chill out party that looked to be turning into an orgy and laughed . True story
I killed a cat once on the way to buy condoms. I didn’t mean to and it still bothers me as both pussies are long gone. True story.
I watched a donkey fly over the roof of a car I was in. Wasn't behind the wheel but felt like I was. Does that count? Oh, and millions of germs every week. I'm a right lean mean killing machine!!
Killed a mates sisters cat by throwing an n64 controller at it when it walked across the table in front of the TV Everyone was in bed so I tucked it up behind the couch where it usually slept and they found it next morning #perfectkill
You're a bastard. Id have you battered for that...obviously no one would know as it would be like you fell down the stairs
Any bird is fair game. They may think they escaped death by disguising their dinosaur natures and taking flight, but they dont fool me. Killed many a bird (mainly seagulls) who tried to steal food. They all need to die. Tip: Best and most entertaining ways for killing seagulls, as they have no way of expelling flatulence, is to grind up half an aspirin into a slice of bread and throw it to the seagulls, 30 seconds later, when they take flight they explode in mid air, its like a fireworks show, but with blood and giblets......its a marvel to watch....
I'd love to put a 5 wood through the cat across the road. Scruffy ****ing vermin always turding in my front garden.
killed a sparrow cos my cat (a rescued abused cat) was torturing it...broke it's wings and had rip half it's face off and was just sitting in the garden watching the poor bird blub pitifully. I threw my cat a treat and when she went to get it I put the bird in a plastic bag and stamped on it to put it out of its misery and then put it in the wheelie bin. The funny thing was that the cat was walking round the garden for an age looking for the bird...could almost hear her saying "where the **** did it go"
Oh yeah that's right...I eat halal meat therefore I'll whack one of my cats. All makes sense now. There is method to your madness after all
