'This is the best trip I've ever been on!'

You can almost see it. Pardew is given until March but is eventually sacked after another horrific run of form. Ashley brings in the only bottomfeeder that would come in at such short notice and it is this man:

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The final eight games are a blur as we somehow get some points on the board. If we manage a draw against Arsenal we are safe but instead are hammered 0-6. The fans are suicidal but thankfully Brown comes out with Microphone in hand with his other arm around Shola singing 'This is the best trip I've ever been on!'.

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He then removes a wakizashi from his jacket pocket and performs Seppuku infront of 50,000 stunned fans. Shola, acting as his second with a Katana delivers the Coup de grâce. The crowd then applauds the brave yet forlorn last stand of Phil Brown.

Would that end of season insanity somehow make relegation that little more easier to bear?

 

that's some strong ACID fella.
lol

 

I just threw up in my mouth. A lot

 

I like it! A very creative and inspired bit of humour, to distract us from our slow and painful demise.

 

TBH I would take this bottom feeder over Pardew but sadly he is off the market.