Everyone has things they can not do. Determined by the way we have been raised, and the experiences and lessons learnt in our varying journey's through life. It is these beautiful quirks that make us, "us". There is something I can not do. I can not talk to people called George. 3 years ago, my wife and I decided to take the plunge. We had been living together for a few months, and the excitement and novelty of living together had worn off. We needed a new challenge. Something to distract us from the monotony of middle class, employed living. We became the legal guardians of a timid, small, fluffy black cat. We immediately decided that we couldn't call him by his "rescue name", Ronaldo. He just wasn't a Ronaldo. For starters, he was crap at football (that is obviously from my wife's side of the family, not my seasoned heritage of sporting heroes). For 2 weeks, he was simply referred to as "the cat". If he was ever to write a book in this period, it would have been signed "Anon". If he was to have signed up to this very forum, he would be known as "Username". We just couldn't think of a name. As the panic of having an anonymous cat began to dawn on us, we frantically tried to think of names. Calling him anything in the vain hope something would eventually stick, and he would have an identity. For 2 days, he was called "Table Leg". This just didn't flow, and he really didn't look like a "Table Leg", much like Elton John looks nothing like a "Reginald", luckily for him. And then. Something clicked. "George", my wife said. It worked, and from that day forward, he has been known as George the Cat. Three years on, whenever someone says "George" in any context, the first thing that comes to my mind is a fluffy black cat, with a big puffy tail, who is scared of the outdoors, with no teeth, who doesn't understand the concept of covering up his poo, and then getting confused why the litter tray still smells, after scratching at the air, who only eats fish and sleeps in the dirty washing pile. How can anyone seriously be called George these days?! Be called by a cats name?! I just can not fathom it. When I started my job, I was introduced to a colleague by the name of George. I just could not look him in the eye, or engage in any form of conversation, and now do all I can to avoid any form of contact. It is just so weird. Next week, you will hear of people called Fluffy.
I once worked with someone I knew as George. Single, in his mid-thirties, yet very popular with the ladies. One evening after work we were having a drink in a Watford pub, but all of the women in there were calling him Peter. One Saturday before a game, he came occasionally, we were wandering up the High Street and met a group of his male friends. They started to talk about the holiday they were going to have on the Norfolk Broads. " Do you want to bring your friend with you George " they asked. " I rather doubt that he would want to come " was the reply. "What was that all about and why the change of name depending on who you are talking to" I asked. "You still haven't worked it out have you?" "I think it best if you call me Peter from now on, that way if we meet my friends again they will know"
