Things that are happening right now... A Tube Driver forgot to stop at Gunnersbury, a supply teacher hasn’t showed up, Joey Barton almost thought of something, the English Defence League are heading to the Falklands, Jonatan Johansson just did a bicycle kick whilst handing out leaflets in Finland, Tony Blair just killed a man, a showroom sold an Astra, Timmy Mallett spontaneously combusted, John Robinson is arguing with a self-scan machine at Sainsbury's, Carol Smilie just had kittens, a dyslexic fish handler with OCD is crying at some messy Cod, Heston Blumenthal has discovered a new Angel Delight flavour, Piers Morgan is singing songs from ‘Grease’ in his favourite Mondeo, Alan Curbishley didn't get the vacant Ipswich job on Championship Manager, a milkman wants a payrise and Stephan Fry is sorting through the ‘Trivial Pursuits’ cards so he can make himself appear cleverer at Sunday dinner.
My colleague is getting a right good verbal kicking from our Boss in a side office. I'm checking to see if they will shake hands .
Most of the above have now happened I am glad to report... At the moment however... Ed Balls just fell up the stairs, the number 51 bus is not in service, Peter Stringfellow just discovered Jeggins, no-one is finding this funny, a Cat’s gone missing in Prestatyn, Danny Dyer is mending his shoes with string and Lord Lucan just died.
