The wearer of bad tidings...

This past week we’ve seen the future of the game defined by actions on and off the field and I’m not exactly enthralled with it. We’ve had:

• Ref-gate
• Roo-gate
• FA-gate
• Yaya-gate
• Abusive Scottish twat-gate

Also some other issues North of the border where two managerial squads were shown on TV trying to rough each other up so perhaps the players should be charged as they couldn’t control their managers. It makes just as much sense to me.

Mayhem indeed has been at the forefront of the great game.

From kicking an owl to death to smashing a picture in the player’s tunnel it’s quite clear to me that the game is now out of control and I see that the FA and FIFA share this view.

They’ve met, cogitated and after intense debate concluded that the Snood is ruining the game.

I can see it. I think its right.

First of all, the snood can be used to a player’s advantage to sway a ref’s decision using obstruction. I for one feel sure that Clattenburg would have seen the malicious elbow if Snoods were never present on the pitch.

That would have killed three ‘gate’ style scandals in one foul swoop should the neck warming garment never been allowed to sully our beautiful game. Clattenburg would have sent Rooney off, Abusive Scottish twat would not have been able to defend the player and the FA would never have had to intervene with no action.

Sure, some may argue that Rooney would never have been such a dumb ass coward if the Snood was banned beforehand as it’s surely the Snood that can influence a player’s reaction and usually it’s a negative and destructive manner that ensues from rage at neck wear.

I can also see the validity in this. I had a scarf once and it was very nice but I lost it and I was very angry. I thought I saw someone else wearing my scarf so I strangled them to death with it only to discover that it wasn’t the same brand.

Mistakes happen and knitwear always brings out the worst in society.

Surely Toure was forced to take a dieting pill to fit into his Snood. I’ve often been dismayed at how difficult it is to shift weight from my neck and if the Snood is too tight; then you’re not going to concentrate on the match. It’s just science; pure and simple.

So. Well done for the affirmative action from the saviours and protectors of the game.

Have another port and lemonade on me chaps.

 

Cracking work OT,
have some rep

ahh it would let me

 

I've just invented the 'Anti Rooney forearm smash' snood, I'll make a fortune.

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgu...a=X&ei=Qq50Tb7xDYzItAbIw5GEDg&ved=0CDsQ9QEwBw

 

The reason Ashley Cole wasn't sacked for his training ground shooting was because the student was wearing a snood, everyone felt that validated him being shot.

 

I don't get this snood thing either, they are classed as dangerous and will be banned from July. If they are that dangerous why aren't FIFA banning them straight away. Completee nonsense!

I feel sorry for DJ Campbell as he modified his hat, he's buggered now, he'll have to chuck it in the bin. What a waste!

 

As usual the FA take about three months to realise what we'd been saying all along.

 

I've taken this on board and think I can avoid 3 penalty points, or having to sit one of those AA cash generator driving presentations for accidentaly sneaking a tiny bit over the speed limit recently by purchasing a Snood and popping down to the local constabulary to explain myself .. surely they'll smile favourably on me and my Snood given the above ..

However, I need some help .. I was going to simply purchase a throw away cheap Snood to get me through this sticky patch (or even craft one from an old sock and some parcel tape) .. but I'm thinking that the Prem stars use top quality cashmere versions that may be out of my financial reach .. so the question is will a cheap Snood give the same results?

Excellent piece of investigative journalism though OT

 

A DIY one works for DJ Campbell, he cut a hole in a wooly hatt and sticks that round his neck passing it off as the genuine article. Ian Holloway ratted him out though on Football Focus!

 

Apparently O.J. Simpson wore a snood to his murder trial, the sneaky barsteward.

 

It can also double as a symbol of honour. You get a new ring every year you play in the Prem though Peter Crouch would be about 6ft 11 inches (5ft 4inches when jumping).

 

gotcoffee

Panic not, I've got a good contact in the knitwear industry and he can supply Lamora wool snoods for a couple of quid, plus my commission of £35.00 of course.

Now, whilst Lamora has a reputation of being 'the poor man's cashmere' I can verify it's warmness and adaptability.
I have a Lamora wool scarf which doubles up as a snood which I often wear when pretending to be the real Jim Iley to get free pints off people. However even I'm not stupid enough to realise that this little scam of mine will not last for ever as I'm sure one these days I'll get a good cuffing when someone of the older generation slaps me for alluding to the fact that Jim Iley must have been a tart for wearing one.

 

" Ah...monsieur Tevez may I be so bold as to show you and your Man City colleagues our latest Albert Pierrepoint snood collection "

 

Snoods were selling quite well in the Club shop on Saturday. £10 a pop.

 

Get a fat lasses wooly leg warmers and there you have 2 snoods (not really snoods as snoods are hair nets). Cut in half and have 4. 2 big 2 little. Or 4 normal scarves if you cut them the wrong way.

 

OK .. I'm interested .. I'm also conjuring up all sorts of Snood related antics that I can be getting up to .. obviously if I'm going to invest in a quality piece of merchandise I'd like to get my money's worth ... and your commission rates seem extremely favourable, trust I can order online .. and do I get nectar points?

 

"and do I get nectar points?"

Are they some sort of beer vouchers?

 

If you like crabbies alcholic ginger beer from Sainsbury's .. I guess they are yes ..

 

my mother recently invested in a 8 in 1 snood at some high street womans retail chain and i have to say i was literally blown away by its versatility. 8 application for a princely £10! wow.

I can see it now Mario Ballatelli using it as a poncho to keep his shoulders warm (style 3 of 8...). Anything to draw attention to that accident he refers to as a haircut adorning his spiteful little head.

 

What was Yaya-gate? Have i missed something?

And can i add vodaphonehaveanunpaidtaxbillof6billionpounds-gate? I'm sure the snoods have something to do with that.

 

Tevez wears a snood so his neck doesn't look thin (normal sized) and so make him look about 3 stone overweight (which he is)