The Toon NOT606 Think-Tank... and DOOM! Lots of DOOM. Always DOOM.

It's 1.20am, I'm not that tired (because I stupidly stayed up to 2am last night), so obviously it's philosophical hour. Anyway, I was pondering how much I know about the club I support (everything objectively true, whether about the club in history, the stadium, ex-players, current players etc), and how I would react under strict conditions (not using any internet or media beyond what life has allowed up to this point) in trying to recall as many facts as I could. Naturally, this curiosity led me to the NOT606 think-tank of genii and thoughts about how much we can collectively share together under these conditions (no cheating braniacs!)...

So, I'll start...

Newcastle United was founded in 1892, from two clubs Newcastle East and Newcastle West. Home games are played at St James' Park (yayyyyy!) (and have been since whenever those old oil portraits of the crowd dispersing, which you often see in art shops, represent), and the pitch has a massive hump in the middle, and the pitch slopes down towards Gallowgate... Newcastle play in black and white stripes, have two seahorses on our badge, a long with a Lion waving a flag from the castle turret. Our current manager is Alan Pardew, assistant is big John Carver, and our cheif scout and miracle worker extraordinaire is Graham Carr (father of tubby camp comedian, Alan). Our playing squad consists of Krul, Steven Taylor, Ryan Taylor, Fabricio Coloccini (captain), Jonas Gutierrez (vice-captain), Dan Gosling, Sylvain Marveaux, Vernun Anita, Demba Ba, Papiss Cisse, Shola Ameobi, Sammy Ameobi, Xisco, Shane Ferguson, Davide Santon, Hatem Ben Arfa, Danny Simpson, Mike Williamson, Harris Vuckic, Nile Ranger (), Curtis Good, James Tavernier, Gael Bigirimana, Cheick Tiote, Yohann Cabaye, Adam Campbell, Romain Amalfitano (did I miss anyone???)...

Our fiercest rivalry is with Sunderland AFC.

Our top goalscorer is Alan Shearer (a **** match of the day pundit now... What? I said objective fact... ) with 206, who beat Jacky Milburn's record with a goal against Portsmouth.

And I think I'm done, rather unsurprisingly. I have the memory of a 1 day old turnip...

Over to you chaps!

 

Did you intentionally miss out the mighty Alien?

 

Mikes pies have improved 78.5% in the past 3 years.

 

You're not Graham Taylor in disguise are you?

 

Looking at your squad list, I think we need to sign a 'Keeper or two!

 

Have a H(e)art, give the guy a chance.

 

Okay, I won't Harp(er) on about it.

 

That was a Swift reply.

 

I'm ashamed at my memory there...