A good day to be happy lads nice day off to the club and a BBQ later on (weather permitting), all we need now is to hear that Messi has decided to go for a new challenge in football a la Drogba and signs for us.
First thing, Talc is British not Utopian. Second, Coxhoe is more Last of the summer wine Third, we do have a sand pit
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.' Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech... At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really ****, I'll have nothing left to live for.'
An Irish Tradition Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy's 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Paddy stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother. "Grandma"' he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like me father, his father, and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Paddy's troubled brown eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin eejit!"
A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born "I don't mean to be rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said, "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fanny, not a f*cking photo copier
A 10 year old came home from school and caught his dad humping his mother, "what you doing", he asked."trying to make a little brother or sister for you," his dad replied. "Then **** her doggy style, I want a puppy".
I just got sacked from my job with the Samaritans. A guy called Mohammed phoned and said, "My girlfriend left me so I'm lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come". I swear all I said was, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
