The sock drawer

Right, so you have a bunch of socks that you wear. Most are black. Some may be brown, some grey. Some, if you're sad, might be patterned.

You have one white pair for Sunday when you plod down to the Chineapple wearing your breeks with the deed budgie.

Here's the problem. You put them in for a wash. You dry them. Now you've got to get them out the drier, pair them off and stick them in the drawer.

But pairing them off isn't so easy. Some of the black ones are a bit different from each other. Some are from different kinds of sock, some are more worn than others and a bit more pale. Some of the ones with the patterns are inside out. You've got to examine each one to pair them off, scrunch them up together so you don't have mis-matched socks come the morn.

Here's the solution:

You buy 14 pairs of black socks, all the same. You chuck the rest out. You wear each of the 14 pairs over two weeks. At the end of that you wash them all.

Now you have 14 pairs of exactly the same sock, all washed and dried. You don't need to pair them. They're all the same. If you stick to the washing of all of them at the same time the color will fade on each pair equally.

All you have to do is throw them all in the drawer and come the morning pull any two out you want. They'll always match.

I just saved you lot countless minutes of your pathetic lives sorting socks.

Thank me below.

 

Sage advice. That's exactly what I do but I am an undertaker by trade.

 

so while your washing all 14 pairs you have no socks what if theres a sexy damsel in distress but she wants a sock wearing hero? your up **** creek pal and loose the girl and the anal rimming shes giving some wino cos he had socks ....

 

I'm pleased to hear you wear socks with your sandals, no matter the color.

Only heathens wear sandals barefoot.

 

What if I've 'used' one of the socks?

 

And what if you have to entertain some children at short notice with an impomptu sock puppet show? You are ****ed.

 

Sir, I place one finger on my nose and point at you.

Well done! Splendid! Most people don't realize the fundamental flaw with this solution. You have thought it through.

The solution, of course, is simple. You have one blue pair kept in another drawer that you wear whilst washing the rest. That way you can remain socked.

As to the girl. Who needs one, when you have socks?

 

I'm no priest. Thank you very much.

 

no one now but originally we had no socks

 

I did not want to spoil it by mentioning my brown pair which I keep ferreted away in another sock drawer for the 14th day (wash day).

 

Buy 14 pairs of socks, wash 7 pairs one week, then the other 7 the next week. It never ends.

 

Let's not regress ourselves back to the fields. Times have changed. Unless you're ER, that is.

Side question, though, Goodluck Jonathon. Do you think you would have done so well in the election under a different name?

I mean, if you had been christened "Now we're ****ed Steven", do you think you would have gained as many votes?

 

See, this is what happens when you let the untrained buy socks.

You have no qualifications as an engineer. This is obvious. The problem is about sorting socks. Your proposal puts two sets of socks in the same drawer that have been washed an unequal number of times. Face. Palm.

 

Use two Drawers.

 

i would have still won as my middle name is marvelous and i had the vote rigged ahemm

 

i was about to say basically this but got sidetracked by your side note question

 

Drawers are more expensive than socks. I should have 14 drawers and buy individual pairs of socks?? Anyway, same sorting problem.

Check the Ikea price list then go get yourself a job in their restaurant.

 

So your full name would have been "Now we're ****ed Marvelous Steven"

You got my vote.