Did you hear about the dyslexic who won the plumber of the year award? I gave himself a tap on the back A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at newcastle . Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid I'm looking forward to the African Nations Cup. My money's on Chelsea. Teacher to class: "What does your dad do at weekends? Little Boy: "He's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the money's right he lets punters bang his arse and cum in his gob Teacher takes him outside, "Is that true?". Little boy: "No miss, it's bollocks. He plays for newcastle but I'm too embarrassed to say". Wayne Rooney has visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital. "It's great, he can almost string a sentence together," said Fabrice
Stu , I might be the only me that will tell you but most of those jokes are about 10 years old , don,t you know any new ones.? QUOTE][/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE] I got off the bike after a ten mile ride this afternoon, and noticed a big smear of **** on the saddle. Thankfully not mine, it's a pretty busy gym.
After showing the doctor my cock and balls, he let out a sigh. "Mr Smith, I'm not sure what this is achieving, but you can visit your wife now
A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife said: "Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession: Before we were married I was a hooker for some years." The husband pondered for a moment and then looked into his wife's eyes and said: "My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years! I won't hold your past against you, maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?" She said, "I don't think you quite understand. I played rugby for Wales........"
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorious home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder. Footprints. "Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house" In addition, locals told police that they had previously sighted him with stumps. The bookies' hot favourite to bag an Oscar this year?..... Pretoria State Prison.
Newcastle United's trophy room has been broken into and contents stolen. Police are currently looking for a man in possession of a black and white carpet.
Man farts in bed, he said to his wife âone nil to me" his wife then farts, â1-1" she says, the man farts again, â2-1" he whispers, his wife lets rip once more â2-2" she whispers back, the husband says **** this and has a **** on the sheets, âhalf time" he grins, âswap sides"
