The **OFFICIAL** "Grant Holt Would Have Scored That!" Thread!

Well boys and girls it's a glorious day, I'm out here in the back garden of beefy towers enjoying the marvellous rays from the sun falling graciously across the one true county to rule them all, magnificent Norfolk.

And what's better is there is an England match on, England vs norway in a warm up of our players for the euros

But I'm afraid, there is a problem

You see the elite, the FA, in their infinite, glorious wisdom seemed it unfit to take the striker known as grant holt. Based, I'm convinced now, purely on the sales of panini stickers and promotional lunchboxes.

But shortly, the FA doesnt give a **** about football, just like FIFA couldn't

But there is a way of letting your anger out friends, a way to let the world know of the injustice that we have suffered as a club, and holt has as an individual

Every time England miss, go close, **** up or generally don't do well. My rally cry will be

"Grant Holt would have scored that..."

And this thread is dedicated to all the chances he would have made, every goal he would have scored and the difference he would have made to our squad.

Enjoy the sun!

Beefy.

 

Nice one Beefy, I can see an awful lot of Carroll mis-hits being nominated!

 

I thought this was only going to happen in the even that both Holt and Ruddy weren't picked.

 

Excellent idea! Woys useless his the next Graham Taylor. I went ****ing banana's when I saw Martin Kelly picked over Micah Richards the other day.

 

Yeah Holt would have picked Micah Richards

 

Carroll and Dafoe over Holt
Johnson and Kelly over Richards
and Downing lets not go there ****test player to ever been given an England cap he can **** right off.

 

Absolutely and I wouldn't limit it that far either

Every game you see a near miss or a fluffed shot just remember the immortal phrase

"grant holt would have scored that"

Works particularly well on Ipswich fans

 

I meant 'in the event.'

 

I've already started. I live with Chelsea and Liverpool fans, who I've already informed must be prepared for the comment after every single opportunity, no matter how slight. I may get strangled before the end of the Euro's, but worth it. I'm also going to be using:"Ruddy would have saved that".

 

But Ruddy was picked, so we have no need to be bitter about that.

 

Give them hell. Are they actually from Liverpool and in Chelsea's case some posh village in Surrey or some generic place in the South East?

 

The liverpool fan is from Warrington, the Chelsea fan is from Stevenage (although I believe has family from a little closer to Stamford Bridge). If Downing plays tonight, and is anything less than world class, I'm going to give the Liverpool fan hell.

 

Where can I get the t-shirt??

 

In true optimistic and patriotic style, I'm currently looking for odds on England not scoring a single goal in the Euro's. I have a feeling I could make a tidy profit off it

 

How flexible is "Grant Holt would have scored that"?

Are we able to add to it i.e. "Grant Holt would have scored that with his knob?

Just want to clarify so I don't make any mistakes.

Cheers.

 

I'd say as long as it says grant holt would have scored that, it doesn't matter how you end the phrase.

 

Just the mention of Downing infuriates me. I'm watching the game with Liverpool fan from the Wirral and another from Northampton. I've managed to convince them that Downing is actually **** but their quite deluded when it comes to Andy Carroll think it's the embarrassment of spending all that money.

Is it me or is Roy trying to make a statement to Liverpool? No sane person would pick these player.

 

perfectly acceptable

Would also accept "Grant Holt's one year old daughter would have scored that"

 

If Downing misses I'm going to yell 'My grandma would have scored that and she's dead!'

 

I'll be wearing my shirt with pride tonight...

My Norwich shirt.