Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD
- Thread starter Garlic Klopp
- Start date
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A man was in a long queue at his local supermarket. As he got to the register he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register:
She asked. "What size condoms?"
The customer replied that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom. "One box of large condoms, Till 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting and like most of us was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the register, he told the cashier that he too had forgotten to get condoms and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom microphone and said. "One box of medium sized condoms, Till 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a woman, so he thought this was his chance.
When he got to the checkout he told the girl he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size and he said he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, she reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the Intercom and said…....
"Mop and bucket, till 5."
She asked. "What size condoms?"
The customer replied that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom. "One box of large condoms, Till 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting and like most of us was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the register, he told the cashier that he too had forgotten to get condoms and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom microphone and said. "One box of medium sized condoms, Till 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a woman, so he thought this was his chance.
When he got to the checkout he told the girl he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size and he said he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, she reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the Intercom and said…....
"Mop and bucket, till 5."
With 3.8 billion women in the world you'd think it would be clean by now
Last night, the missus asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.
I said: "To be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket!"
I said: "To be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket!"
I asked the Librarian: "Do you have Great Expectations?"
She said: "I did but ended up working in a library".
She said: "I did but ended up working in a library".
The M6 and the M1 were in a bar bragging who was the hardest motorway, a little pink lane walks in and they go deadly silent.
Barman says whats up with you two youve gone all quiet , they said we dont want to upset him hes a cyclepath.
Barman says whats up with you two youve gone all quiet , they said we dont want to upset him hes a cyclepath.
I recently heard about a teen novel in which Schrödinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross country adventure.
So I headed down to the library to get a copy for my daughter; the librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
So I headed down to the library to get a copy for my daughter; the librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
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