Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

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A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on a hospital bed. An young nurse came to clean his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just getting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly the man ejaculated on the nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Thanks. but I still need to know ‘Are-my-tests-results-back?
 
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Just phoned the police and said there's 2 girls fighting over me,
The operator said sorry ," that's not an emergency !
I said of course it is... the ugly ones winning... <laugh>
 
Breaking News
UN publishes 1st quarter Demography Report 2019
There are 7.8Billion people on planet. (earth).
The report shows
Women = 5.6Billion
Men = 2.2Billion
So, they advised women to be careful in showing attitudes to any man because out of the 2.2 Billion men:
• One billion are married already.
• 130,000 are in the prison.
• 70,000 are mentally ill.
That means that we have just 1 billion men available for marriage and out of the
1billion:
• 50% are jobless
• 3% are gay
• 5% are Catholic Priests
• 10% are your relatives
• 35% are above 66years
So, ladies both the married and singles, you have to rethink before treating any man like trash.
For details visit UN demography report
http://googleweblight.com/i?u=http:...lation/&grqid=zOvihD00&s=1&hl=en-KE&geid=1054
 
Australia's Daily Telegraph prints rival's pages by mistake.
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