The teacher asked the class if anyone could give the class an example of love. Little Susie stood up and said, "I saw two robins making a nest together, I think that is love". "Very good said the teacher, anyone else?" Little Johnny stood up and said "I think love is '****ing'". The teacher was shocked and told little Johnny to go home and not to come back without a note from his father. The next morning Little Johnny was back in class, the teacher asked, "Do you have a note from your father?" Little Johnny said, "No, my father said love is ****ing and anyone that says it is not is a cock sucker and he doesn't correspond with cock suckers..."
whats the difference between maddie mcann & a porsche? i dont dress my porsche up in sexy lingerie and take it out for candle lit meals disguised as a woman
If you take a white girls virginity...they say you pop-her-cherry So going on that theory, if you take a Pakistani girls virginity....do you Pop-her-dom
Some dirty bastard has stolen a pair of Michelle McManus's knickers aff her washing line She's no to bothered about the knickers....but she wants the 14 clothes pegs back
Just walked out of my job at the helium factory. There's was no ****ing way I was being spoken to like that
women are just like orange juice cartons It's not the shape or the size or even how sweet the juice is that matters It's getting those ****in flaps open
A psychiatrist is conducting a group session with 4 young mothers and their kids. "you all have obsessions," he observes. "you" he says to the 1st mother, "you're obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turns to the 2nd mum "your obsession is money. It shows in your childs name, Penny.o" he goes to the 3rd mother "your obsession is alcohol. This too shows in your child's name, Brandy." the 4th mother quietly gets up and whispers to her boy, come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he is talking about. Lets go pick Willie and Boaby up from school".
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. The Doctor asks "What happened?" The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp." The Doctor says "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. The woman says "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me! How does the tea do that?" The Doctor says "The tea does bugger all, it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick?"
Was at a Rangers do a couple of years ago when Andy Cameron ( I know - I know ) told one about the Teacher asking the kids........." What vegetable brings tears to your eyes"? Wee Johnny stuck eez hawn up .... " Yes Johnny " she asks? "Gettin wacked in the bawz wae a turnup Miss"
