This whole Defoe-gate thing reminds me of a little scene that used to play out regularly in my local pub many years back. There were two old gents who for some reason had a simmering dislike of each other. Picture the 'old gits' from Harry Enfield and you'll not be far from these two characters. Perhaps they'd had some falling out over a sweetheart during the war, that was one theory, but no one quite knew. What we did know however was that the prevaricator - the younger of the two - would only have to mention a single word under his breath as he passed the other along the bar. This would be the trigger for these two elderly fellows to then participate in an odd stand off, half pushing, half punching, but never really a proper fight. The fight of the 'dancing bears' as I coined it, as others would watch in amusement at the little sideshow. Then after a few profanities, the two would return to their pints of mild (topped up with a barley wine), and spend the rest of the evening ignoring each other. Sounds familiar?
