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Off Topic The Fake News Thread

Discussion in 'Charlton' started by ForestHillBilly, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. ForestHillBilly

    ForestHillBilly Well-Known Member

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    In an amazing about turn, Charlton's eccentric Belgian owner, Roland, has announced that he has written off Charlton's entire £50m. debt. Producing an onion, he sobbed into his handkerchief "It's all my fault. I'm just a deluded old fool who wants to be loved". He also revealed that he had bought a season ticket in the West Stand, just in front of the Directors' Box. "I will be attending every match, just to keep an eye on things"
     
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  2. DonCorleone

    DonCorleone Well-Known Member

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    Paul May seen within 200 miles of the valley. Sober.
     
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  3. Ken Shabby

    Ken Shabby Well-Known Member

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    Charlton and Millwall fans planning a mass march together to the Valley. In an unexpected show of fan unity, Millwall fans shout against Charlton's unpopular owner, while Addicks fans sing songs denouncing the Lion's corrupt local council. Normal business is to be resumed later when Charlton fail to beat Millwall again in a league match.
     
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  4. SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious

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    Charlton manager celebrates 3 months at the helm.
     
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  5. User deleted as requested

    User deleted as requested Well-Known Member

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    Nigel Williamson wins the 2017 Booker Prize.
     
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  6. DickPlumb

    DickPlumb Well-Known Member

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    Reams doesn't contradict himself.
     
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  7. User deleted as requested

    User deleted as requested Well-Known Member

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    Roland Duchatelet finds 50p down the back of his sofa, and doubles Charlton's January transfer budget.
     
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  8. ForestHillBilly

    ForestHillBilly Well-Known Member

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    Following their 3-0 win over Millwall, Charlton issued a "hands-off" message to a host of clubs chasing their young stars. CEO Katrien said in a defiant message: "They can all feck off. What kind of club do they think we are, one that just lets our fans see the stars of the future for a few games before replacing them with cheap freebies?" As he made his way from the ground, the owner, Mr C. Roland, confirmed his ambition to make Charlton the top team in South London.
     
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  9. deleted.....

    deleted..... Well-Known Member

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    I thought these were fake stories?
     
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  10. pieguts

    pieguts Mentor

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    With a successful January transfer window, Roland is now revisiting plans to increase the capacity of the Valley, in anticipation of the surge in demand for tickets, to see the world class players on display.
     
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  11. deleted.....

    deleted..... Well-Known Member

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    After a highly successful spell as Chief Exec at Charlton Katrien Miere is sad to leave the Addicks to accept the Chief Exec job at Real Madrid.
     
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  12. DonCorleone

    DonCorleone Well-Known Member

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    Impressed by his successful ghost hunting career, Welling United have appointed Jonathan Ackworth as manager.
     
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  13. User deleted as requested

    User deleted as requested Well-Known Member

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    Reams (Paul May) appointed manager of Staines Utd

    (In joke Alert)
     
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  14. DonCorleone

    DonCorleone Well-Known Member

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    Do you think the money savings on kit helped him land the job?
     
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  15. User deleted as requested

    User deleted as requested Well-Known Member

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    After 5 years of abusing Charlton's owners over the Internet, Global Moderator Paul May took the opportunity of his annual visit to the Valley yesterday to tell them straight. Face to face. Just as he had always posted that he would.

    Confronting Richard Murray and Katrien Meire in the Millennium lounge, Walter May called them "a pair of useless c*nts" and invited Murray outside to smash his bald head in.

    Paul Mitty also paused briefly to interrupt Karl Robinson's latest mindless waffle, and urged him to sign 3 players from Bournemouth.
     
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  16. Miketyson2007

    Miketyson2007 Well-Known Member

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    Karl Robinson had. Press conference in which he injuries are part and parcel of the game I ont mention them and just get on with it.
     
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  17. DonCorleone

    DonCorleone Well-Known Member

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    Amusing how he says he doesn't want to blame injuries, but spends 90% of interviews moaning about them.
     
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  18. User deleted as requested

    User deleted as requested Well-Known Member

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    #18
  19. ForestHillBilly

    ForestHillBilly Well-Known Member

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    Labour have surged even further ahead in the opinion polls. The public have responded to Trump's presidency by demanding the election of our own strongman to match Trump and Putin, and they see Jeremy Corbyn as the man of the moment.:emoticon-0165-muscl
     
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  20. User deleted as requested

    User deleted as requested Well-Known Member

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    @DonCorleone changes his name by deed poll to "Don Pervatone" - the new name Nigel Williamson has given him on ITTV <laugh>
     
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