Off Topic The "Discuss Anything Else" Thread

Never claimed to be an 'Adonis' only that my looks and physique seem to have remained fairly constant despite my extensive 'research'. My dissertation has been submitted to many publishers; both well known and small independents however most have not replied however one albeit very polite response contained the phrase "Are you f****n' mad we cannot publish this".

QMII; up here in the Northlands she, looking extremely comely and with that 'Made In Chelsea' freshness, could easily enter the oldest profession and make her own millions!

Anyway my new clothes have arrived via DHL from Koln so it's the three S's for me and up town to the local Drones club.

Toodle pip.

 

Very debonair! Say, BK, have another look at that winning headed goal by Martinez yesterday. Look at the height he reached, way over the Celtic player, who was no shorty himself. Great goal.

You know, just an observation, but you really are a Kölner, are you not? Think you've got something going up there; i.e. you send us lots of pictures of Bavarian lasses, but can't remember a photo of one from Köln? If I have got it right, then you have the top club and the bottom club in the Bundesliga, so your ante-post R/F looks like it's down the plughole?

Another Holiday here, get's boring, my part of Munich's like a ghost town.

Kölner lasses:

 

Keep thinking about visiting Koln during a busy part of Karnival however some of my research suggests the local ladies a touch wild for this quiet lad! Anyway four expensive and extended holidays so far this year along with clothes, household goodies etc purchased in Paris, Krakow and Koln have exhausted my capital so it will be twelve months on the wagon stuck up here in the tundra. However, I have it in the back of my mind to return to Regensburg next year for the Volksfest.

Have started my Cheltenham Gold Cup portfolio and this Saturday is the start of the class steeplechases (Wetherby and Down Royal) which could govern additions so a studious period coming up. Also got to catch up with a lot of reading and viewing so lack of trips and general shenanigans will not be missed.

If I had not just returned from a rather heavy session in Nordrhein-Westfalia I might have treated myself to a day and night in Glasgow to meet up with my fellow FCB supporters. The continuing trips to Koln are due to the easiness of travel; Germanwings direct. Also my Mum used to love it there so I always visit some of her favourite parts of the city; Chodwigplatz for the cheap shops springs to mind. Two further attractions are the racetrack and I usually find it possible to pick up a ticket for the football. Strange that the teams from so many major German cities are struggling in the Bundesliga!

Quite taken with the whiskered lady in the image!

 

Missing the Newsnight “The Problem With Men” special to post this as the whole thing is getting ridiculous...

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Not sure if levity appropriate to current goings on however I suppose I could be described as 'Leery', 'Tipsy' and certainly 'Odd'!

 

Streets ahead of 'Dame Edna'.

I recall that when '12 Inches Of Les' was first released I bought the book and cassette. Sitting on the bus listening to the cassette via my Sony Walkman was a f****n' nightmare as I would suddenly burst out laughing; must have been awful if I was sitting next to some introverted and stuck up individual. Reading the book during lunch break wasn't much better however at least my works colleagues knew I was mildly odd.

 

Korean Chiropractor at work:

Seems like an enjoyable job, full of potential? .Translation from the Korean is 'Spirit-Type Management - Corrective body correction video'. Huh? I am none the wiser!

"Chiropractic, an alternative medicine invented by American Daniel David Pamer, and first proposed in 1895.
Claims: "Vertebral subluxation, spinal adjustment, innate intelligence". What the hell the last claim means, I have no idea).
Risks: "Vertebral artery dissection (stroke), compression fracture, death."
Related fields: Osteopathy, Vitalism."

Thanks to Wikipedia, but I think I'll pass! Chiropractic is very popular in Canada, I know that, but never tried it myself.

 

Yeah it's a load of ****e. And another thing that gives me the willies, is wellness, every time I hear the word I want to vomit.

 

Much prefer a touch of pampering at my Gentleman's Club!

 

About fifteen years ago at an office Christmas Party, I did touch Lucy. She ran away to West Yorkshire and had a couple of kids with some other bloke but obviously this is a resigning issue. My behaviour was far below the standards expected of the forum’s chief Economist – I should have bought her expensive drinks all night, promised her ten per cent returns on stock market investments, insider information on some penny share that was going to be the next Dot Com runaway and got her back to my place for a night of passion, champagne and strawberries.

If the forum is looking for a replacement, I would suggest this woman (for political correctness purposes) and I note that she has already started on the ’59 Dom Perignon so she will soon be plastered enough to maintain my high standards.

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Everytime I hear the name 'Lucy' I find it difficult to picture anyone but Lucy Weston or Holmwood as portrayed by various demure and virginal actresses (?) in many Hammer productions. And we all know what happened to this hussy when confronted by a gentleman of taste and breeding; his dodgy nocturnal habits notwithstanding!

Never resign and never admit to any misdemeanour. Innocent until proven g.......... ! In other words take the Nurnberg defence; " Nicht Shuldig".

Anyway, to the free thinker (?) from the land down under; I wouldnae touch her with your appendage. Her map of Tasmania must have seen less action than Ena Sharples' southern regions!

That's enough smut for one day; I'm off to visit my dear old Mum in the care home.

 

A day out at Oddies place.

 

That reminds me that me an' ma kinfolk are goin' up the toon in Auld Reekie at the start of December!

 

RANT MODE ON

Visitors to Ascot Racecourse be advised: steer clear of the Dancing Brave bar. The fact that there were no long queues ought to have warned us.

I was on a bender at Ascot races and had some ‘free’ beer vouchers. This particular bar had a load of Goose Island (American craft beer) on draft that I knew to avoid because it is crap. So we had the Windsor & Eton Brewery “Eton Rifles” beer (that claimed to be a 5 per cent IPA). This is unquestionably the biggest load of gnat’s p*** that I have ever had the misfortune to be presented with by a British brewery. Me and my mate drank about half a pint of it (slowly) just trying to figure out what the hell it tasted of because it was not beer. He reckoned it was grapefruit but I could not decide. Somebody needs to tell them that fizzy pop is lager, not beer, and it should not be sharp and fruity! All it had going for it was that it was the right colour for an IPA.

Annoyingly, I managed to find a 16/1 winner (Brown Bear) and still lose money – it must have been the beer!

RANT MODE OFF

 

Always dangerous to get an early big price winner followed by a celebration (?) even if the alcoholic beverages taste crap. Judgement can become poor and hazy, even for our resident economist. Most of my inebriated 'mistakes' at the track have worked out to my advantage apart from one unfortunate day at the Scottish National day at Ayr races. Was with my Mum and had already had a skinfull in the town before reaching the track. Two early fairly short priced winners and further nips put my judgement in reverse. Spent an hour or so in the on course bookies shop and left without any success and my wallet a great deal 'lighter'. After no returns in the 'National' my Mum suggested we should return to the town centre for some nosebag. Never have I been so glad to get f****n' out of a race course!

Anyway, after steak and chips and a couple of Jack Daniel's the world seemed a brighter place. Also I realised that I was only a few pounds in arrears as I found my returns from the first two races in a buttoned back pocket of my suit trousers.

Funny old world innit!

QMII; hope you are feeling better and less 'ranty' now that you have gotten yesterday's Ascot misfortunes off your chest.

 

@bayernkenny just read your post and had to look up nosebag. Not what I was thinking of

 

Try to keep my rude and distasteful posts to 'General Chat'.

 

I didn't know whether I should post this. But heaps of folk were asked to take risks the likes of which most of us can't even imagine.

 

"Men who drink lot of hoppy beer, like a strong India Pale Ale, may see some unwanted effects, like man boobs, premature aging, sluggishness, tooth decay, hair loss and a beer belly. "