As most of the Wid Ye's on here prove not many people have particularly high standards when it comes to women. (though clearly Gas has no standards what so ever) I wondered who is willing to own up and tell us all about some of the duffers they've either dated or woken up next too... As a sauve debonair kind of chap my list of horrors is rather small though I can confirm I have had a couple of absolute howlers. My first experience of a complete rotter was when I was 14 on holiday in Butlins in Minehead. I pulled a bird who on the face of it was quite good looking... I'd compare her to Nigella Lawson... though when i got her on the dance floor she was a size 18 and my arms wouldn't fit round her... I still shagged her mind.. and as i was inexperience accidentally stuck it up her farter much to her surprise.. I also once pulled a student nurse when i was 18, she was ok ish looking and had crazy hair like Tina Turner.. I took her back to her dorm got her naked and then realised she was anorexic and resembled a holocaust survivor. Pud probably has bigger tits than she did.. and she was a screamer had barely dipped the tip in and she was screaming the place down.. Finally last year after my fiance left me i went on a dating website... If anyone has been on them you learn quickly that birds use old photos when they were slimmer.. or you just get a head shot... Last year was my best (gas like) year whereby I basically stuck it into about 15 birds you wouldnt want your mum to meet or anyone else for that matter.. and about 6 fit ones... Clearly this is getting a bit boring now and I am bored writing it so will let everyone gives their testimony of the rotters..
I shagged some bird last year and fell asleep afterwards, woke up an hour or so later with the bed soaking. Naturally I asked her what the **** she was playing it, she then tried to blame me so I flipped the mattress over and her off the bed. She then tried to pull me down on the floor for another shot but I was ****ing having none of it - feel asleep and left the next day with my back looking like someone had brutalised me with a rake. Apparently she has burst pipes because I heard she pished on someones couch after that.
I shagged a gusher last year, she was quite fit in all fairness but when she came I thought I'd been pissed on.. The bed was soaked with a dry outline of me on the bed..
Naw she was 23 - pal of a pal or some ****e like that. I also had that experience last year sweat, after the pish fiasco as well (almost cracked up a second time) but she was just a squirter/gusher. Good ride though
Confession thread! I thought you were gonna tell us about gettin raped or something. I don't shag munters. All stunners.
Went out on Saturday with the beer goggles on & took this thing home, obviously she had'nt been shagged in years her fanny was tight as a ducks arse. Woke up next morning was going to ask her if she was born with a cock on her forehead, she had a set of bugs under her eyes any man would die for & teeth like Neil Lennon ffs.
I went back to some bird's house, little did I know she lived with her folks Her old man kept asking me if I wanted something to eat....a ****ing egg sarnie of all things? I told him no and then threw up all down his nice wallpaper He ****ed off to bed and I shagged his daughter. She fell asleep on the job she was that pissed and I was that ****. Two weeks later her old man started working at my place. I avoided him
It's correct kiddo. Keep pulling yourself off as practice though, you'll find someone ugly enough some day I'm sure
John, you consider ****ing "shagging practice?" Handsome chaps like me have no problems with the ladies.
Firstly, I'd like to state that I used to enjoy preventing my best mate from getting laid. One night I was supposed to be staying at his house after a night out, and midway through the evening I'd stopped him from getting with this stunning Cornish bird, before pulling a lass myself. He'd long since departed in his anger, and I was left in the middle of a deserted street with my potential shag. So, not wanting to take her back to his (as I knew he'd do his utmost to stop the act going ahead) I led her down to the council buildings and ****ed her on top of a giant sundial (which has replaced the bench and plant at the left of the picture). please log in to view this image
