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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6521
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 14, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6522
    kiwiqpr, Aug 15, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6523
    kiwiqpr, Aug 15, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • What"s the difference between a black and a white fairytale?
    • White begins, "once upon a time,"
    • Black begins, "y"all motherf*ckers ain"t gonna believe dis sh*t!"
     
    #6524
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • I got a job at a paperless office.
    • Everything was great until I needed a dump.
     
    #6525
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6526
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6527
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6528
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6529
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6530
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6531
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    He recently retired and drove his brand new Corvette Stingray out of the dealership. Taking the on ramp west the interstate, he floored it to 80 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.

    “Amazing,” he thought as he continued, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear-view mirror, he saw a State Trooper behind him, lights flashing and sirens blaring. He floored it to 100 MPH, then 120, then 150. Suddenly, he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the troopers arrival. Pulling up behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is my Friday. If you can give me a reason I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

    The gentleman paused. Then he said, “years ago my wife ran off with a MI State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

    “Have a good day Sir!” replied the trooper.
     
    #6532
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2019
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6533
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6534
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6535
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6536
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2019
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6537
    kiwiqpr, Aug 16, 2019
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A young monk arrives at the monastery. He isassigned to helpingthe other monks in copying the old canonsand laws of the church, byhand.
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    Henotices, however, that all of the monks arecopying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
    So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to questionthis, pointingout that if someone made even a smallerror in the first copy, itwould never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in allofthe subsequent copies.

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    The head monk, says, "We have been copyingfrom the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

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    Hegoes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the originalmanuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vaultthat hasn'tbeen opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot.
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    So,the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He seeshim banging his head against the wall and wailing.
    "Wemissed the
    R

    We missed the
    R

    We missed the bloody
    R
    Hisforehead is all bloody and bruised and he iscrying uncontrollably.
    The young monk asks the old Abbot,"What's wrong, father?"
    Witha choking voice, the old Abbot replies,
    "The word was ....
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    CELEBRATE!"
     
    #6538
    kiwiqpr, Aug 16, 2019
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6539
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2019
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6540
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2019
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Page 327 of 747
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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