Jayram had taken special care to prepare everything right for this party. Every regular poster was coming. Even the wums were invited - Jayram wanted to see the fights between the moderators and PleaseNotPoll amongst a few others. At seven minutes past two, Jayram heard a knock on the door. He went to open it, and out came Super Jack, dressed in... (someone else continue the story, someone after that, etc)
.... a Lord Farquaad outfit from Shrek. Jayram immediately took offence - 'Are you taking the piss out of me for being short, angry and arrogant?!' he demanded to know. 'No, Jayram. I'm dressed as Lord Farquaad as this is a fancy dress christmas party and I'm here to take the piss out of Rooney in a Shrek theme' he retorted 'In a minute, Princess Fiona and Donkey will be here'. With that there was a knock at the door and HotHead and Omogooner appeared, in character as princess Fiona and Donkey. 'Crikey' said superjack, loking at Donkey, 'What's that long dangling thing..............
"What do you think it is?" replied Omogooner. "It's my ****ing tail." "Then what's that hanging from your arse?" "Oh, THAT'S my cock" "Anyway," said Jayram. "Please take your seats. SuperJack, you will be sitting next to the other moderators," Jayram indicated towards three red chairs, all with large spikes protuding out of them, "Whereas you two" he pointed to HH and OG, "Will be sitting here, next to Hammersmith Blue and Berbnanidez, when they arrive of course." "Ah FFS" said HotHead, "Berbnanidez will dribble all over my food." Just then there was another knock on the door, and PISKIE and Cym barged there way in. "Evening Motherfuckers!" shouted Piskie, his Beard dangling from his chin, "We brought you some presents!!". Jayram was excited. "Oh boy," he said, with glee showing in his eyes, "Presents!". He tore the wrapping off as fast as he could and inside, for Jayram, was a brand new.........
...Pesonality. 'They had them in the bargain bin in poundland Jayram, I thought that seeing as yours was so ****, that you'd like a new one' said Piskie. 'I know it's not a top of the range one, but let's be honest mate - anything is going to be an improvement'. Jayram quietly accepted the gift of a new personality 'Try it on' said Piskie, so Jayram went to the bathroom to get changed into his new personality. A few minutes later when people were settling into idle chat and nibbling peanuts, Jayram returned from the bathroom with his new personality. 'You know what chaps?' he asked 'I've been a right dickhead at times this year on not606' . 'At Times?' Samurai retorted 'Yes, I know I come across as an arrogant twat, but deep down it's just because I'm insecure about my height, so I try to make up for it by acting like the big un' Jayram admitted. 'But you know what?, this new personality is really helping me to see that'. By this time HotHead was getting Hot under the collar, thinking to himself 'That's me! I'm an angry little man, but deep down I love soft kittens and smoochy chick flicks' Cym noticed that HotHead was looking uncomfortable, so he took him to one side and said .....................
Hot Head and i proceded to the bar and had a drink.All of a sudden Samir Nasri is a ****er walked in dressed as a Christmas fairy and..................
.... SuperJack said 'This is supposed to be a fancy dress party you ****er. Why didn't you make an effort?' Samir replied ...............
Samir started to cry and said "Don't be nasty,my mummy bought me this new party outfit"Samir went off to get some jelly and ice-cream when all of a sudden..................
Goonercymraeg started to have a heart attack, Jayram ran over, tears running down his face screaming; "NOOOOOOOOO, MY ONE TRUE LOVEE" He reached Gooner, dropped to his knees over his old frail body and........
...Punched him repeatedly for editing his comments about Wenger. Upon realising the look of disgust on every other fans faces, he proceeded to....
...but unfortunately his current seasons form takes over and he falls flat on his arse. Diaby, seeing Aaron's plight runs over to comfort the poor lad but broke both legs in the process. Arsene screams in frustration and yells "Sacre bleau and bollock's to the lot of you, we need new players and we need them now. Some give me the phone so I can make a reverse charge call to....."
Gunnerman, the nicest person ever who knows soo much about Arsenal!" Gunnerman said, "Wenger, you should sign Eden Hazard," but Piskie interuppted, "GOETZE IS BETTER" and a fight broke out between all the fans, when all of a sudden...
...All the lights go out and there is a loud clap a thunder. PISKIE screams, and jumps into Cym's arms. Samir Nasri is a **** laughs, one of those nervous, unexpecting laughs, and SuperJack drops his peanuts. When the lights come back on, there, stood in the open doorway, soaking wet, bedraggled, with his long hair strewn across his face, covered in cuts and bruises and generic filth of all kinds...is...
Jayram then awoke from his daydream fantasy to realise that things weren't as he'd imagined them in his mind and that reality was a million miles from what he desperately clinged to every day. Piskie was as cool as a cucumber and saw that Jayram was trying to dig himself out of another hole he'd dug for himself. 'It's okay Jayram' Carlos is just here for some Angel Delight and Tizer, not to sign for Arsenal. Tevez was infact stading at the door, soaking wet and asking to come and join the party. Come in Carlos, said Samurai cheerfully. But instead of coming to join the party Tevez instead pulled out a note, which he began to read. 'Mr Mancini has sent me here to............
Have sex with all of your players so they cannot run around properly as i have a MASSIVE dong, now come here Theo...
....Jayram realised he was in his warped fantasy world again, so he sunk back into his chair, and let his anger fester, whilst those around him enjoyed the party. Oh how he hated Piskie for brushing off his attempts to pin something on him. If only I wasn't short, angry and arrogant. Maybe then Piskie would like me and we could be friends. Piskie, always one for letting other's hot air and ranting guff pass him by, called Jayram over. 'Come on Jayram' he said 'I know we've not always got along on not606, but I've got nothing against you fella. I know you like to think you're right about everything, but surely you must see that it doesn't wash with anyone on here?' ' How about you climb down off of that minature horse, come and have a drink and let bygones be bygones? - if you dropped the faux angry man routine, I'm sure you'd find that we'd actually get along fine'. With that Jayram found an inner sense of warmth that he'd not felt for a long time, but suddenly he realised that there was a warm wet patch where he'd been sitting. 'Oh No!' he cried, I think I've...........
come over myself, the tears are running down my legs. suddenly there was another knock at the door. it was opened by a ringing wet fernando torres who said--
**** this, and dropped kicked Jayram and Piskie in the face knocking them both unconscious meaning they can both nether talk or dream or contribute any other ****e to the day, then as HotHead walked out of the toilet............
