The (Sir) Alwaysright Gordon Road Stand Thread

Tim - Did I tell you that I hate you ?

I don't suppose that GFC are on their own when it comes to late submission of accounts - and that's about as kind as I can be when it comes to people who play fast and loose with my money. And it doesn't help with the catalogue of waste of my money by Mr. Scally over the years ------- it's a good job that I have got gfc in my blood.
I know that I could be accused of wasting a lot of money on GFC --- but --- it has always been MY money to waste ! -- I haven't played fast and loose with money I had been given.

 

Actually it's a drop in the ocean compared to the Chairman's remuneration - £311,000 in 2017/18

Now I don't know the exact number of season ticket holders, and especially for that season, but I reckon a contribution of £100 per season ticket wouldn't be far out as a rough calculation.










Yes, I know that the Club's income isn't only provided by season ticket holders, but this is fun....!!!!

 

I'm surprised that grumpygit hasn't started a trivia quiz...........................
........... I suppose that I'll have to ask the Chief Constable of Northamptonshire ! ---- I need to know who has broken the Law ( or it's spirit ).

Today, as part of my daily exercise routine , I walked to a mobile phone repair shop (( less than a mile away )). I didn't expect it to be open - but I was 'desperate' --- the bloody battery has stopped taking its' charge.

I wasn't surprised to find the shop closed - but the owner was on the pavement outside the door !! A notice on the door invited people to use a walkie-talkie - for 'attention' from within. The shop keeper saw me looking for the device, and introduced himself. I stated my problem -- and was promptly invited inside the shop - where the chap inspected my phone. He gave me his diagnosis - ordered the replacement battery, and arranged to contact me when I can revisit the ( closed ) shop for repair.

My 'trip' was NOT to purchase '' essential shopping or medicine ''
The shop keeper conducted a ''non-essential '' business when the premises should have been closed.
The shop keeper will repeat the '' crime '' next week - when he invites me to repeat my '' crime '' by returning to the shop to complete the repairs.

---- ALL of that has created at least two '' criminals '' today and two recidivists next week......... So when I get nicked, I will have to consider what excuse or mitigation I should offer -----------I could start with the fact that I have so much stuff as Apps on my phone -- much of which is to conduct 'fairly critical' stuff for my disabled mother - as well as (( hopefully NOT )), needing a phone if I need a doctor or a bloody ambulance (( or should I dig a hole in my garden and jump into it ? )), OR,

Should I say that I am delivering '' essential '' shopping to a relative -- FORTY MILES AWAY --- apparently that was the claim by the Minister, - that ( in their case ) , it was '''' REASONABLE ''''' ((for a Government Minister )), to travel 40 miles ! ......... but - knowing my luck, I expect that I will be stopped by the aforementioned Chief Constable who will carry out his threat to examine the contents of my shopping bag to see if my goods are '' essential. '' (( I kid you not ))-------- He would have a field day in the car park of many shopping outlets .
Perhaps I should go and buy a new bike -- these shops are allowed to be open --- apparently they are '' essential '', but NOT anything that I definitely might need to call for help !

 

Somebody tell me that the photograph has been 'doctored'
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52298016

Does it really show 8 (( EIGHT )) police officers. If they were any closer to each other, they could do the 'conga ' !
I wonder if it was any of these fine champions of Justice who was responsible for handing out a £60 fine to a 100 year old 'anti-social' miscreant !!!
........ I know that some people won't learn without enforcement --- although I would submit that enforcement hasn't been much of a deterrent in the past - but - is this now going to turn into a cash cow for the Government ? .... You'll tell me that Coronavirus doesn't discriminate etc --- and I will accept the sentiments of your argument --- but I can't help feeling that commonsense hasn't been used.

 

The picture in the bottom right corner, shows that it was taken from 'Getty Images' - that will be an archive, possibly for royalty free use of images.

To explain it another way, when I used to write articles for another site, you are only allowed to use images, that come from that stock, this avoids copyright infringement - it does not incur its association to the event being discussed.

I did a backlink search on the image, and also found it used by the Daily Malice, your image was as you know the BBC. The DM note states AFP Getty Image. The Malice alludes to the following; A group of eight police officers was seen walking past people taking their daily exercise in St James's Park in central London.

However, I don't trust anything the Daily Mail says, so treat it with skepticism. I haven't added the Malice link here, because they are a pain in the arse with advertising.

 

brb - I am very familiar with ''lazy'' journalism - not saying anything bad about you -- one of the worst offenders is Kent online.

I understand it was a 'stock' photograph -- although a well chosen one...... The main thing that made me shake my head was that a police officer thought it appropriate to 'enforce' the law - with a £60 ticket for a chap 100 years old......... it doesn't bode well for expecting common sense by that officer in their 'normal' duties...................... I wonder how many times the 100 year old has been ''anti-social'' in the last month -- compared with the average youngster under the age of 18 ((( because, if you are 17 years and 364 days old, you can't get one of these tickets ))) ---- it's the LAW -- which we all know is an ar$e.

 

Rumours of my death have been exaggerated !........ ps, my name is not Ed.
I wasn't going to make any joke about death - but - tonight, Martin Lewis ( Money Show ), told viewers that he wasn't dead - as it has been reported........ so I take my lead from him.

Today, I returned to the phone repair shop to FINALLY collect my No.1 phone ! Inside the shop there was just one other customer. This chap looked at me with considerable interest - then blurted out '' You look just like my mate, he's dead.'' (( I've been given better chat-up lines ))

I replied '' Dead ?'' The chap said ''No, I said Ed - his name is Ed.'' I said '' That's a relief - I'd rather be called deaf than dead. I usually get called by other 4 letter names - beginning with C, and I don't mean Clot. ''............. needless to say this bromance fell at the first hurdle.

 

Wanquers - It's not a swear word - but you'll know what I mean ---------- This is the long-awaited mobile phone saga - best you make a cup of tea - or don't bother to read - but what else have you got to do - I don't for one minute think that any of you are exercising once a year, let alone more than once a day --- so get that cuppa - and a fresh packet of biscuits. sit back and have a laugh at my expense !

I can report that I am now the proud owner of a brand new, shiny, all singing and dancing mobile phone ( even that wasn't without an amount of swearing at the Amazon delivery driver ).

I have been without my original phone for almost 5 weeks. The repair shop staff have been total wanquers. They have lied so many times - and treated me poorly, insulting my intelligence and very condescending. At no time have I been rude or loud or sworn (( many was the time I wanted to spill somebody's blood )).
At the beginning of this tale of woe, my mobile stopped taking a charge. I've already mentioned how I was UNlucky enough to be able to contact the owner of a repair shop - who was at his premises when he shouldn't !

The initial diagnosis was that the battery was defective - and that I would need a new one. I didn't get any news of this for almost two weeks. I then returned to the shop - expecting to get my phone --- which I did --- for about ONE hour !

The shop owner proudly returned my ''fixed'' phone, and I duly paid the cost (( although the price, in loss of sanity in the long run, far outweighed any financial measurement.) I took the phone home - and saw that it needed charging up - so I plugged it in - but after 30 minutes NO charge was taken....

....So I returned to the shop, and made my report. I got a lot of blank expression from the chap behind the counter. He told me that it would have to go to the technician - who was working from home -- what could I do ? I was an idiot - I felt a certain compassion for the business ( due to the prevailing circumstances ) - and didn't want to make all sorts of demands of them --- so I said I would give them a little time.

The shop had the phone over a weekend - I then returned to collect the damned thing - only to be told that the new battery was defective !
I made comment to doubt this claim. I was shot down ; '' If you had experience of the industry, you'd know that this often happens.'' I asked if other components had been checked - I said '' Could there be a problem with the charging port ?'' Their reply '' No, that's working fine. It's definitely the battery.'' I was told that they had already returned the ''defective'' new battery, and had ordered another one - from a different supplier....... placing me in a slightly awkward position - -- I still didn't want to throw my toys out of the pram - and gave them another chance !

I received no update for nearly a week. At the next weekend, I returned to the shop. I was told that the 2nd new battery still hadn't arrived (( they obviously don't do Amazon Prime )). The following Monday, I had to attend an emergency domestic matter with my mum - which kept me away from home for the next 5 days - up to the Bank Holiday Friday. At no time did the shop contact me - on another, convenient number. On the Thursday ( by now FOUR weeks without my phone ), I phoned the shop.

They stated that the 2nd new battery had only arrived the day before - and the technician ( chief wanquer ), was working on it (( probably injuring his wrists at the same time ! )) I explained that I would return on Monday - and I would want my phone. I was told '' We are certain that your phone will be fixed by Monday.''

Monday - went to the shop. I was told ''We have good news and bad news for you.'' I replied '' of course you have - give it to me.'' The guy proudly said ''The good news is we've managed to switch on your phone.'' ---

I interrupted the chap and said '' What - that was never a problem - what have you done to my phone ?''
The guy said ''The bad news is that, although the battery is charging up - it's not charging through your phone -it appears that there is a problem with the charging port - there is a hole in a chip which needs to be replaced.''

I don't know how I didn't explode. I did let the chap know that I had suggested a problem with the charging port a month ago - but I was told that it had been checked and that it was working fine - and that when I repeated the suggestion when the ( first ) new battery was deemed defective, I was laughed at by co-owner of the shop - because of my lack of experience of phone repairs. I apologised for being disenchanted ( pissed off ) - because, what really hurt was the total lack of customer care, and lack of courtesy updates............I said '' So, you need to replace a chip ? How long is that going to take ?'' The guy said ''We'll have to order it - the arrival time is Monday''. I said '' What - another week? That's what you said about the batteries - (( which I probably didn't need )) - but the first one didn't arrive for 2 weeks - if I let you order a chip, I won't see my phone until Coronavirus is wiped out.''

I told the guy to return the phone to me, and to reimburse the money I had paid for an unnecessary new battery. Even then the guy said that the original battery was dead. I said that I would be dead before they would be able to repair it..... ''Now, please, I need my phone and money.'' --- which is the only thing that the shop were able to do........
.............. anybody got two empty tin cans and a piece of string ? (( have many of you have needed to go to the toilet half way through this nonsense ? ))

 

And whilst I'm talking about W -----s,

When will the idiots who deliver for Amazon learn to actually deliver - '' properly? ''

In recent times, I have had '' delivery '' of high value items from Amazon Prime.
No. 1 - an item, cost over £ 200. It was delivered whilst nobody was indoors. It was put half way through the letter flap..... Anyone could have taken it.
No.2. - my new mobile phone -- costing a very pretty penny ! The driver left it on my doorstep, rang my bell - and was already driving away by the time I got to the door..... How would he have known if anyone was indoors to collect the item ?
No. 3. - Today - another 'so-called' delivery by Amazon. Again, nobody was indoors. When Mrs.Alwaysright and I returned home, my neighbour told me that the driver had left the parcel on my doorstep - which she had seen ( only by 'chance' ). She had 'words' with the driver - who, apparently, was totally uninterested with her complaint.

Is it any real wonder that so many people are encouraged to be dishonest and claim 'non-delivery' of an order - I'm not one of them.
I could suggest that Amazon drivers should be compelled to take a photo on a mobile phone - showing the homeowner / neighbour with parcel in hand !

 

W------ No.3 ( feel free to add to the list )

......And talking about Amazon drivers -- has lockdown caused every motorist ( especially vanman ), to lose the little ability to drive that they had ?
The standard of (( I hesitate to call it )) driving, has been more appalling than usual since everyone has been unleashed. I stand more chance of living if I French kiss somebody ( preferably a woman ), with Covid 19.

As you can see - lockdown has done nothing to improve my sense of humour - you'd think that I would be more 'chilled out' - what without having to endure Mr.Magoo with his flag at Gills matches.

 

I must be a freak ! .......... Yes, I appreciate you all knew that......... and there was I thinking it was Summer.

A couple of days ago, I was aware that my neighbour had her central heating switched on. OK - that's up to her - and, I suppose she is old ( note to Pegleg - that is 'properly ' old ! ), and might feel colder than most.

Yesterday, I visited a friend ( social distancing followed. ) He too had his central heating switched on ( and wearing a jumper ! )

Today, I have been out for a bit of exercise. It has been a gloriously sunny and warm day. I have seen several people wearing shirts, sweatshirts and coats ( all 3 items !) They must have been boiling. I saw a few 'youngsters' dressed in 'hoodies' ( yes - with the stupid thing over their head )........ you'll tell me that all these people can wear what they like ---- unlike me - I am compelled to wear clothes for the sake of modesty - not because I'm cold - on a lovely summer's day.

 

I don't know how to put this tactfully so I'll just say it, some people have more of natures blanket than others, as someone who isn't blessed with natural insulation I have to rely on man made padding.

 

As you well know - I may be old(ish), grey(ish), fat (ish) , ugly ( definitely ), but not stupid.
Your 'theory' may be correct - but some of the people were a lot more insulated than me......... anyway - Mrs Alwaysright thinks that I'm hot - that's all that matters.

 

Always, of course she thinks you're hot, what else would she think when you're walking around with flimsy clothing on.

 

I'm still NOT a freak !.....................
I might be walking around in flimsy clothing - but at least I'm not doing my walking in the middle of the road !
PEOPLE - the road is not meant for you to walk down the middle ! -- especially when I'm driving on it, and heading towards you - and all you do is smile at me and continue your headlong path towards my front bumper.

......and then you get the proper idiots who, whilst walking, on the nearside pavement ( in the same direction as you ), decide to just leap out into the road, in front of you - without bothering to look ! Message to these fools ; You might not catch a disease from the other pedestrians that you were desperate to avoid, but if you don't keep your social distance when I'm on the road, your next 2 metre journey might be in a downward direction.

and still not being 'freaky' ...... Yesterday afternoon (( a lovely, warm, sunny day )), I walked towards my town centre. I went down a road adjacent to the High Street. It was a row of terraced houses - with small front gardens. The front door of a house I was approaching opened. Out popped the 'obligatory' mongrel dog -followed by an occupant of the house. The dog did a circuit of the front garden, then disappeared back into the house. The occupant followed the dog along its' journey.....nothing freaky about that I hear you say --- well - the occupant, from what I could tell, was a lad of about 17 / 18 years. He came out of the house wearing a hoody over his head! (( do these people actually wear their Hoody ' up' whilst indoors ? ))............... I must dig out my mankini.

 

Do as I say - not as I do............otherwise I will have to try to dump as much of the blame, as possible, on my wife!.
Can I just (remind) say that my politics lean to the right - so I do not have a political agenda.

I am NOT defending Dominic Cummings, but I wish to point out that he did NOT break Government RULES.......... and this is where a major problem has arisen - because the whole matter of what are rules and what are not. Even the Police don't seem to know - with evidence of scores of penalty tickets issued incorrectly.
I have not envied the job of the Government in handling the pandemic - but they have not helped themselves in getting a lot wrong. The list, in my opinion, started when the Government failed to take measures that were stronger - at a much earlier stage. The issue of quarantine - not starting for over another week, is ridiculous -- this should have been enforced weeks ago............ so , talking about the rules --

It took Dominic Cummings over an hour, in his press conference yesterday, to explain that he did not break any rules. And he was correct !

When the Government gave the public guidelines, telling us what we should not do, I was able to read between the lines - to see that the guidelines were 'just that' - much was commonsense - but not rules. I understood the gravity of the messages, behind the guidelines, that have been daily 'hammered home.' The guidelines were necessary for all of us to follow - to try to reduce the spread of the virus etc - to Stay at home. Protect the NHS. Save lives!

The vast majority of the public have abided by the guidelines. ( which we have treated as unofficial rules. ) Many thousands have been in a similar situation in which Mr.Cummings found himself - but the vast majority have continued to comply with the guidelines ---- even if many of us would have done ( or wanted to do ), exactly what Mr.Cummings did ----- and -- can I say - I probably would have done exactly as he did if I had the chance.......... and, in so doing, I would not have broken any rule. I would have breached guidelines ( and not just the spirit of the guidelines. ) .........

..... Mr.Cummings is a human being. He is a father of a small child. His natural human instincts took control of his head. I don't necessarily blame him for this ( let's be honest - who, among us, would not have exercised his options if they were available to us ) --- but

I would not have spent an hour or so trying to defend myself - or trying to shift the blame onto my wife. He might have got less grief if he was honest and transparent about his actions ----- but - maybe his greatest mitigation is that the Government guidelines have never been rules nor were the guidelines unambiguous....... On this occasion there was no law to be called an arse - just Her Majesty's Government -although I need to point out that Mr.Cummings is not part of that Government ( no Member of Parliament, in this instance , broke any rule or guideline )

 

I agree. Hope you like my new avatar

Anyway enough of this tom foolery, I need to go for a 30 minute test drive, to make sure my eyesight is ok...

please log in to view this image

 

I find myself writing this as I pass the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, well Boris did say I could drive to get my exercise.

 

When Mrs Alwaysright does not want 'sexual relations', I am happy to oblige........................... the alternative title to this post would be ''This is going to test brb's ability to produce a suitable video !''

We have learnt, this week, that Dominic Cummings did not break any Government 'rules.' I think we all agree that he has given the British public a lot of Bullexcrement when he made his denials. The Americans have a phrase for verbal crap that people give them - ''You suck'' - and this reminded me of another high profile political figure, who like Dominic Cummings, was caught with his trousers down - Bill Clinton --- although in Clinton's case, it was literally with his trousers down.

At this point, I don't think that I need to remind people that Bill Clinton once was President of the U.S.A - but I've already done exactly that !

Clinton was accused of having sex with a White House intern, Monica Lewinsky. She claimed that the pair of them had 'sexual relations' on 9 occasions. Clinton denied this claim..... I'm fairly sure that it wasn't a case of 'forgetting' that it happened -- I doubt if I'd forget one occasion of having sex - let alone nine times -- especially if it wasn't with my wife!................. anyway - Clinton repeatedly said '' I did not have sexual relations with that woman.''

Clinton continued to deny the 'sex' allegations - a bit like Dominic Cummings denying that he broke any rule..... And we now know, both Clinton and Cummings were telling the truth !! ( Yes - even after Clinton had sprayed his semen all over Monica's dress .) Lewinsky did not claim to have had sexual intercourse with Clinton -- although it was agreed that much other 'sexual activity' occurred - but Clinton, like Cummings, did NOT tell any lies......

..... How was that ? - Well, in the State of Washington DC, any sexual activity that does not include vaginal penetration, is not defined as '' sexual relations.'' -- talk about splitting (pubic) hairs !

In both incidents, the gentlemen in questions were certainly caught with their trousers down -- and then made matters worse for themselves by talking out of their exposed arse................

.....I now await brb's suitable video.

 

Wanquer --- and I make no apology for resurrecting the earlier post !
I have just heard MP, Robert Jenrick, on the BBC, telling the nation that there would be NO review of penalty notices issued to anyone ( whose name is not Dominic Cummings ), for driving to another address for the purposes of providing childcare whilst he / she were possibly experiencing symptoms of Coronavirus.

WHAT UTTER ARROGANCE ! I am struggling to refrain from printing all sorts of inappropriate language. .............. and what does that clown Johnson tell us '' We're all in it together.'' The only thing the rest of us are in, is the $hit that comes out of their collective mouths (( I suppose that with so much verbal excrement coming from the hole in their face, they have to talk out of their arse.))