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The (Sir) Alwaysright Gordon Road Stand Thread

Discussion in 'Gillingham' started by brb, Nov 16, 2012.

  1. WINDYROG

    WINDYROG Well-Known Member

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    One gives, if at all, to the charity of their choice for personal reasons.........not for personal gain or recognition. Mata should take a leaf out of the late George Michael's book.
     
    #1321
  2. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    OH DEAR - SHE'S AT IT AGAIN !
    It's been a long while since I last spoke about my neighbour -- remember her ? - the woman who thinks that, air flows from my open fanlight windows, through brick walls and into her place- causing her to be cold ( on a July day when the temperature was 32 Celcius )........... and many more mad things -----
    Well - she's at it again !

    Since I last wrote about my neighbour, things have greatly improved. She 'suddenly' became 'normal.' We have been able to be civilised. I have gradually been able to resume my 'assistance' for her, and done a few jobs to help her ( not for any payment ) - and we have been able to live like 'normal' neighbours............... until yesterday !

    I have had a 'warning' that my neighbour might be reverting to her 'madness' - she has raised a concern about a noise she experiences from the taps in her bathroom - and hinted that it might originate in my home !! I have tried to help her to resolve the matter -- although I couldn't hear anything when I investigated her taps. I really didn't know what to say - except that I hoped that the (non-existent) noise might be temporary.

    Yesterday I got a note from my neighbour - demanding that I increase the water flow in my home. ( we do NOT share the same pipes / water supply - I live in a separate house ). The note states that my neighbour has contacted the Water Authority - who (allegedly), told her that I am responsible for the noise - because I have interfered with the water supply.

    Now -- it could be that my neighbour suffers from a real medical condition that causes some people to hear real noises - but - only in their head -- a bit like the bloody tinnitus I have to suffer. If my neighbour does 'hear things' what bloody chance have I got ? The note does 'threaten' that she will take action if I do not comply with her request. ............... I have a mother who sadly suffers with dementia - so now, what with my own tinnitus, and my neighbour, I've got 'surround sound' madness in my life ---- all that and Hi viz misery ! Happy Days, ga ga goo goo ga ga, dribble dribble.
     
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  3. brb

    brb CR250

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    Look mate just tell her this....

    You will notice an increase in noise from the water pipes and yes I am to blame. I've turned the pressure up to full power, so the pipes are on the verge of bursting.

    When she asks why you have done this, say it is for her benefit!

    When she looks at you bemused and queries how it is to her benefit, reply;

    Because the fire brigade will need that much pressure to put the fire out in your house if you don't shut up you stupid old bat.

    Obviously no need to thank me for my help and words of wisdom, yours sincerely brb.
     
    #1323
  4. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    brb - shame on you - to suggest such an extravagant use of water - surely I could be more economical with Earth's resources - perhaps I could ram her head down her toilet pan and drown her...........
    .............. interestingly, I have decided to tell her that I have increased my water pressure - hopefully it will shut her up. It worked with my mother last week -- when she didn't have her garden rubbish collected. I had dropped in to see her - and she insisted that I call Medway Council to demand an explanation, AND that the bin men return to collect her bag. Initially I refused - I told her it would be futile - mother then just nagged me - so I pretended to make the call and told her that Medway Council were very sorry etc etc, and they would make sure it wouldn't happen again -but they couldn't return until next week.
     
    #1324
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  5. brb

    brb CR250

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    <laugh>.
     
    #1325
  6. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    So - what was the point of having the turnstile operative?
    Gillingham FC certainly know how to disenchant STH ( at least this one ), on [home] opening day of the season......

    2016 - the fiasco I had in trying to use my 'free ticket voucher' - when the CEO personally stated "Yes" - and the chimpanzee behind the ticket booth telling me that it was a Cat B game ( not that anyone knew until the Cat B games were announced in October !

    2015 - when I was moved from one queue outside the ground - to stand at the front of an unopened door to a turnstile ( on the promise of its' imminent opening ) - only to see my original queue disappear into the ground -- and the door in front of me staying shut --- oh, and didn't [nearly] everyone laugh at me !

    ........... so what was in store for me today. -- Well you'd think it should have been painless - after all, STH had already been buggered about with the non existent ticket books -- but NO such luck ............
    I came to the ground with my 'replacement' paper ticket, and approached my 'designated' turnstile ( Town end of Gordon Road ). This turnstile still has the sign above the door - inviting STH only. I presented my ticket to the turnstile operative - a girl who looked to be about 15, with an IQ to match ! She looked at the ticket and told me that I couldn't enter via that turnstile - because my ticket stated that I had to enter via turnstiles 26-31. I told her that I was a STH - the sign above the gate states that only STH were allowed to enter via this gate - "IF you won't allow me, as a STH, to enter with my replacement for my season ticket book, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO ALLOW ENTRY ? - Now use some common sense, take my ticket and open the gate." .................... she game me a look - but succumbed to sanity !
     
    #1326
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  7. brb

    brb CR250

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    One of the advantages of being old and grumpy hahaha
     
    #1327
  8. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    NO - I'M NOT SORRY ! - Maybe I had reached the end of my tether. Today, I managed to 'p' off a nearby occupant in the GRS.

    Firstly, I'd like to say " Well done" to the players. They battled well, and certainly deserved something out of the game. Holy was immense in goal, and at times we rode our luck - that's not to say that we couldn't have made the result a little more convincing. Naturally I wanted Gills to win - but I've said many times that I am more concerned with the commitment and attitude of the players - - win, draw or lose - ALL the players need to give 100%. -- exactly what they gave in the game today.............................
    ............ so what did I do wrong ?
    Well, during the pre match warm up, I finally snapped. I dared to voice my displeasure at the Gills players !! You will know that they have a session of 'target practise.' This usually involves our 'strikers' taking shots in the practise net. How many times do we see the players ( unchallenged ), putting their shots in Row Z ? I was watching this from all the forwards, and watching them have a right old laugh about some of the poor attempts - some were really dreadful - and gave me no confidence for our chances in actual match play !
    I suppose I was annoyed at the light hearted mood of some of the worst culprits. I travel 100 miles for a home game, watch many away games, pay good money etc, and expect the players to be a little more serious. I couldn't help myself - I shouted out - asking them to try to hit the damned target. Josh Parker thought I was joking - he had a huge grin on his face-- I was not impressed - nor, it seems was a guy near to my seat. He reprimanded me for my lack of support for the team --- THAT IS A JOKE !
    I have been so forgiving of so many poor performances - I still come back week after week, year after year. I have defended the players and Club ( as well as offering constructive criticism ) - and, at matches, I have always tried to give 100% support - but - what I saw today was the 'final straw' ( I'm talking about the laughing and joking on the pitch ).
    Words were exchanged between me and the other 'fan' - that probably ended in a draw - but I am not sorry for finally snapping. It's been coming for a long time -I have been a loyal fan for many years - and what, with all the nonsense that the Club is involved with, on and ( mostly ), off the pitch, I was hoping that at least the players might take their job seriously ...... ( Yes, I am happy to have had it rammed down my neck - for once )................. I suppose I shouldn't say anything about the several directors / guests who didn't take their seats in the second half until it was already 10 minutes old - perhaps they're not fans of GFC !
     
    #1328
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  9. brb

    brb CR250

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    Whatever you did mate you saw the team get their first full 3 points today. Sometimes things need to be said and you said it, nowt wrong in that.
     
    #1329
  10. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    brb
    I actually thought we'd win 1-0 today. Despite the results thus far, I can see that we do have some potential to be reasonably competitive this season. I suppose I have been worrying about the seemingly endless off field nonsense and politics in which the Club is involved -- because these matters may have far reaching and grave consequences for GFC --- I was looking for a distraction from these issues from the players - to act 100% professional - especially on match day - to stay focussed etc etc....... of course they are entitled to have a laugh and a joke (( I hope they celebrate tonight - they deserve it )) - but when they are at the grind stone, I expect their noses up against it !
     
    #1330
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  11. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Dizzy Yarnold...................... actually it's Lizzy - but you'll soon understand why I have changed it.

    For those of you who don't know her ( or care ), she slides, head first, down an icy slope laying on top of a tin tray [ the event is called a skeleton run ]. Apparently she has been suffering with dizzy spells.............. well that's a surprise !
    She has just learnt that she has a medical condition which makes her susceptible to dizziness --------------- I wonder what could have been the cause ? .............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. if Gills climb above 20th in L1 I might start getting a nose bleed.
     
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  12. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Something for nothing ! ( well it wasn't from Mr.Scally )
    I don't usually respond to cold calls and junk mail, asking me to participate --- ( other than a two word reply - especially late in the evening ). - but

    recently I was sent correspondence from an agency stating they were responsible for the collection of my gas & electricity meter readings for my energy company ( despite the fact that I frequently give these readings online. ) I was asked to make an appointment to have a smart meter installed -- I really do not need one. I was led to believe that it compulsory - so I replied and fixed a time and date - but this proved problematic on the day - and I contacted them to say that I wasn't able to keep the appointment - and that I really did not wish to have the new meter. The people involved then told me that I was not compelled to have a smart meter - and took me off their list.
    Today, I got a letter from the ' people' - thanking me for interest in their product, and as a reward for "my time ", they sent 4 x £10 vouchers ( valid to March 2019 ). These can be redeemed in loads of useful High Street retailers.
    It was like finding four £10 notes - a great start to the weekend
    .....................................................................

    The only problem was - I couldn't see anywhere that I could change them for 3 points !
     
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    Last edited: Sep 22, 2017
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  13. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    I reckon, if I wanted to, I could sell my £40 vouchers for at least £ 20 cash.................................... how much do you think I'd have to pay somebody to take my 2 year season ticket ? -- those matchday tickets are the most expensive toilet paper I've bought.
     
    #1333
  14. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Mr. Hitler lives !................................ spit ? - he made me want to throw up !

    I was in a neighbouing town centre today. I won't say where - and if I told you it is a sh1thole, it won't narrow it down by much - even if it wasn't in Medway !!

    Anyway - I saw a Town Centre Enforcement officer talking to a man - and writing what I supposed was a Fixed Penalty notice . I was intrigued - because the recipient was an elderly man -- easily 80 yeas old !! I was curious as to his crime. I decided to be nosy and stand a few feet away and listen to the proceedings.

    The old boy was being given a ticket- that was going to cost him £60. His crime was that he had spat on the pavement. WHY ? - the old chap was trying to explain to the absolutely heartless bastard, that he was unwell - has an infection in his chest ( for which he said he takes prescribed medication ), and that his condition causes a build up of mucus in his throat. At the time he was compelled to spit, he was choking and gasping for breath - he had to take desperate action or risk suffocating.

    Mr.Hitler wasn't interested with the mitigation - he just carried on writing the ticket. ---- now, I understand that he was merely 'doing his job' - but obviously that didn't include showing any compassion, discretion or common sense. He could easily have 'warned' the man - advised him to try to use a tissue - even take the man's details ( to show to his boss that he was addressing anti-social behaviour ) - no, he decided to be a word beginning with C which I am not allowed to print !

    ............ and just where is Mr. Hitler, in the evenings - when the town centre is full of yobs chucking all their crap - which was abundantly evident ?? - in bed - certainly no where near to confront anyone under the age of 80

    .......... the incident attracted other members of the public - all were equally appalled at this gross abuse of authority. I said enough to vent my disgust - and told the old boy to appeal - to present his medicine as evidence of his ill health - and not to pay any fine.
     
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    Last edited: Sep 28, 2017
  15. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    I'm a bad man - again ! - Round 2 ( I refer to post 1328 )
    My crime ? - late in the game I called out to Wilkinson - asking if he knew where the goal was ! The fan who didn't appreciate my previous sentiments, again voiced his displeasure.................
    OK - I wasn't necessarily helping by my sarcasm - but - well, you saw how poor he was - and has been (constantly). I was called an armchair critic - maybe so - but I have paid in thousands to GFC - to watch an awful lot of excrement - I wasn't given one of the thousands of freebies. - and I took the trouble to do do my usual 100 mile journey for a home game - when it would have been a damned sight easier to watch it (switch it off), on the TV.

    If I constantly pay for a product in the same shop, and if it's constantly faulty - am I not allowed to complain ?
    When some fans in the Rainham End called for Scally to go - there were many in the GRS who joined -I didn't... AND YET - the 'same fan' made no complaint. This prompted me to pose a very vocal question - " Is that alright? You're not making any complaint about the chants - are you happy at the prospect of seeing this place turned into a housing estate ? The chap made no answer - I added ( and answered my own question ), " Well, obviously you are........................... and the way I now feel - after watching yet more **** - I couldn't care less if Priestfield was tarmaced !
     
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  16. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Whilst the topic of excrement is foremost - I discovered a new way to be 'shat on '

    Today, I was doing some gardening in the front garden. I had the green recycling wheelie bin on my driveway, and ACTUALLY filling it with weeds & leaves - WHEN the next thing that happened was some complete moron, walking his dog, approached, walked onto my driveway and proceeded to dump a plastic bag - full of dog5h1t into the wheelie bin !!!
    Needless to say he felt the wrath of my tongue - and my language was very much straight out of the toilet !......................... I made sure that the idiot took his bag with him - no doubt to dump it somewhere when he was out of sight !
     
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  17. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    I didn't expect to get harassed by a Jehovah's Witness !

    Today i was doing a bit of voluntary work at my local church. I was in the front grounds - doing some gardening. My location was unmistakable - the big Cross on top of the large 'church-shaped ' building is a bit of a give-away.
    I was interrupted by a man in a suit. He came into the grounds and tried to hand me a leaflet ( with a picture depicting Jesus, on the front ), - whilst at the same time, he started a probably well- rehearsed 'pitch' about the " Word of God. "
    I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't help myself from asking the chap if he was joking. Didn't he realise where he was.
    I understand that it's said that 'God works in mysterious ways' -----I had to remind myself were I was - I would have liked to have advised him of one mysterious way - but I'm sure that he's heard it before !

    edit - I did add that I was ' on his side ' ( even if my halo is very rusty ) - but his choice of venue wasn't the best decision he had made today - however - I truly believe that J Ws have tremendous stamina.
     
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    Last edited: Oct 29, 2017
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  18. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    I'd never make it as an MP ! -- I'm not a sexual deviant (( what I do with Mrs.alwaysright is none of your business )) :bandit:

    With all the 'depravity' that is emerging from Westminster, I bet the MPs wish that they only had their expenses scandal to contend with !.................. and talking of that - what really happened - it seems that it all got 'swept aside.' --- From the allegations that were flying around, I expected that we would have needed to build another prison to house them ---- oh well - one rule for them, and another for mere plebs !

    on the subject of expenses scandal --- at one point, a manager under whom I served, got the Police in to question me under caution. I was accused of fiddling my expenses.
    It related to one week - where I was required to daily report to my Head Office - to pick up important documents, before travelling to a 'site office,' for my normal 'duties.' At the end of each day I was expected to travel to my Head Office for any debrief. (( this would have been an 'extra' daily journey - that would not have been necessary under normal working situations )).
    I was permitted to claim petrol money for this temporary arrangement -- and did so. The problem was that my house was 5 miles from the 'site office' - but my Head Office was 2 miles in the opposite direction. This meant that each day I drove;
    2 miles from home to Head Office, 7 miles to site office. 7 miles to Head Office. 2 miles home. A total of 18 miles -but I only claimed for 14 miles. I didn't claim for my 'normal' daily return journey to work (4 miles). At the end of 5 days I claimed for just 70 miles of fuel (( not forgetting that I had provided the firm with my car and paid tax, insurance, MOT servicing etc for the benefit of the company during this particular week )).
    My manager didn't bother to speak to me first - about his accusation - the first I was made aware of any nonsense was when the Police officers cautioned me and took me into an office and revealed my crime. So - just what was wrong ? What was my crime ? These were the questions I asked the police officers. I nearly pissed myself laughing when they gave me the answer .
    My manager had reported me to the Police for fiddling my expenses. HOW ? He had said that I had claimed for more miles than I was permitted !! He said that the return journey from my house to the site office was only 10 miles - yet I claimed for 14 miles each day. I burst out laughing in front of the officers. I told them that I was guilty !- I offered my hands to be handcuffed (( still nothing to do with sexual deviance )). I had indeed claimed for 14 miles.
    I explained why I had claimed the additional 4 miles each day -- to make an extra journey to the Head Office at the end of each day - for the purposes of a debrief - which would normally have taken place as part of my usual day at the Head Office. I told the Police to check with the CEO of my company regarding 'additional' expenses incurred during this week, for which a fuel allowance could be claimed -- and that I wasn't prepared to discuss the farce with them any further - and I walked out of the office.
    Needless to say - I received the fuel allowance for all of the extra miles I did that week. I never had any problem with my fuel expense claims after that day !

    A grievance procedure I took against my manager was duly won ( despite being contested ), The Vice President of the company came to my home - took off his shoes as he entered - and offered me his sincere apology for the "appalling and unfair" manner in which I was dealt with by my manager -and gave me his solemn promise that I would not get any more trouble from my manager.
     
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    Last edited: Nov 4, 2017
  19. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    I suppose I am a bit of a rebel ! -- when it comes to making a stand with management.

    On another occasion - shortly before I was due to get married to Mrs.alwaysright, my future brother-in-law was in an unrelated ( to me ), dispute with my company. My manager was aware that I had given my future brother-in-law advice -- to desist with his troublesome action against the company.... My manager spoke to me. He understood that I was acting as mediator. He understood that I had been very professional etc - but said that I shouldn't get involved as I was about to become a member of family............ My manager than turned into an arse !
    He said that he needed to ensure that I wouldn't get involved with any dispute involving my future brother-in-law and the company. I said that I was willing to comply with his wish to stay 'detached.' BUT - my manager decided that I should be moved to another office -- at the other end of the country ! I told him that he was being ridiculous. I told him that if this was his intention, I would go to the President of the company and get that nonsense 'sorted.'
    This seemed to have made my manager 'flip.' I had never before actually seen somebody's face turn purple, nor seen anyone's mouth froth in rage as they vented their spleen. I thought that my manager was going to have a heart attack. He dared me to carry out my threat. He told me that he would be speaking to the President before I could, and that I would pay dearly for challenging his authority.................. I told him that I was sorry that he felt like that - but it would not change my mind.
    The next day, I went to see the President. He was aware of my 'situation.' He said that I had done nothing wrong. "Go back and tell your manager to stop his nonsense." Just after returning home from that meeting, my phone rang - it was my manager. He apologised for any misunderstanding - and offered any help that I might need with the wedding arrangements to Mrs. alwaysright.

    I keep telling you - I am alwaysright ! I'll whip anyone who thinks otherwise --- CALLING Mrs.alwaysright !
     
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    Last edited: Nov 4, 2017
  20. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    #1340
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2017
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