Swords Delusional Correctional Services

Good evening Gentlemen.

As the new Season fast approaches, I'd like to lend my expertise as a life-long football fan with an "outside" perspective on LFC. I like to pride myself on good, sound, practical advice and I'm here to offer my help (free of charge), with some ideas on how you, the fans, can help make this a successful Season for Liverpool.

My work centers around bringing supporters that have lost touch with reality, back to the present time and in doing so, allowing them to experience the joy of living in the moment without the weight of years of baggage and vague blurry images of glories long past. I've worked with varying degrees of success with the supporters of Clubs such as Leeds and Forest and in order to complete my portfolio, I've decided to offer my Consultancy services to you for the coming Season.

I'm going to discuss three main points tonight, in this my first online Seminar entitled "What's another year"

* As Liverpool fans, you have gone over two decades without winning the League. Yet, with the complete lack of any logic, at the start of every Season you think you're in with a shout. This HAS to stop. Its time to stop thinking you're in the same league as the big boys. In order to eventually make your way back to the top, you've got to take the long view and be content with being a good mid-table side that's gradually building for a top-six finish. This will allow you to savour a top-half finish without feeling guilty that you've under achieved. Because you haven't.

* Have an admiration for those you aspire to become. For too long Liverpool fans have deluded themselves that Liverpool is some sort of "rival" with Manchester United. For a Club that hasn't won the title since the fall of the Berlin Wall, this is patently absurd. Instead of thinking you are something you're not, you should ask your superiors in Manchester to help you so that, one day, you can achieve some of the success that they've had in the Premier League.

* Fight your own battles. Liverpool are in a slug-fest with "The best of the rest". This is a very tough mini-league with top quality sides such as Norwich, Swansea, Fulham and Everton. Instead of looking to where your Club was before the first Gulf War, concentrate on your current situation and aim to finish top of the also-rans. Again, this will give satisfaction instead of needless suffering, the kind of which you've had to endure for far too long.


So, Gentlemen, that's it for our first lecture. I'll now take any questions you may have. Remember, I'm here to help so please don't feel your question is too silly for me to answer. Don't be shy, I'm a professional.

Thank you.


Swords Delusional-Correctional Services

 

- No we don't.
- Ask Sir Alex.
- No we're not.

Good-bye.

 

I was hoping for more feed-back than that. Have you anything constructive you'd like to share with the group?

Like I said, there's no need to be shy.

 

[video=youtube;0ePQKD9iBfU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ePQKD9iBfU[/video]

 

Lucaaas, that's not very helpful to the debate. Have you got anything further to add?

 

That's a lot of effort, why put so much effort into a post that we really don't care about?

I suppose it's a little more creative than the average wum but still a bit boring I skimmed the post.

 

I saw that you were in need so I tried to help. A modicum of gratitude would not be out of line here.

 

Constructive? Here's something constructive - find something more fulfilling to do with your life than attempt to irritate fans of a different football club than yourself that you do not know.

It's just sad, really.

 

People like you come and go, some are funny, some are interesting. I'm not getting a good feeling about you so far.

It seems you are trying to be clever?

 

Well I never . You try to do something good and this is the thanks you get.

I'm shocked and surprised at the lack of appreciation shown towards a guy just trying to help.

 

This is just a conceited load of rubbish

 

I know, the standard has slipped if you are going to wum then have something to say, something different or at least a strong opinion. Oh well, life I suppose either he'll get bored or we will.

 

You haven't anything positive to say???

 

Come on! Step it up a bit, this is ****. People are not even telling you to **** off, it's that boring.

 

You owe me two minutes of my life back.

 

Your own profile says that you are interested in QPR, Carlsberg and not much else. Therefore I suggest that you go back to the QPR board and drink some more lager.

In case you have problems with comprehension let me explain. There is not one poster other than yourself who wants to play your game.

 

Ok how about this, you go back to your board and I'll get a mod to delete the thread so that you don't get all embarrassed. Everyone on here will take a vow of silence so that you don't have to live with the shame.

I'm sure everyone will agree.

 

Reason for Closing of this thread: "You're a bit of a dick and I don't like you."

Hope this clears up any questions you have.