Survival guide for a worst-case scenario.

I'm going to start this thread by saying that I do not think we are going to go down. We've generally been playing good enough football to stay in the division, and there is still an air of positivity among the squad, which is in no small part due to the attitude of the manager.

However, we might go down. On the very slight off-chance that I may be off the mark with my prediction for this season (hard to imagine me being wrong about anything, I know), we could be playing Championship football again next season. Would this be the end of the world? If you visit the match threads on here after a defeat, you might think so, and there would definitely be a fair few irrational, suicidal, boorish cretins coming on here and trying to convince you that the end is nigh, if we were to find ourselves in the bottom three after the final day. Nonetheless, these logically-impaired, dimwitted simpletons would be wrong. Southampton FC is well prepared for this worst-case scenario, and this is why:

We have lots of money. Mmmm money.

Obviously, we would lose some players. Ramirez is probably the first name that comes to mind, but he's probably the only certainty. I like to think we'd keep hold of Lallana and Lambert, but I suppose there's a chance they could be tempted away, and the same probably goes for Schneiderlin, Cork, Clyne and a few others. The key point, though, is that we could afford to maintain the quality of the current team and immediately set our sights on returning to the Prem. We aren't spending stupid money on wages like silly old QPR, and we have excellent foundations.

Being very optimistic, we could line up in the Championship with: Gazzaniga; Shaw, Fonte, Yoshida, Clyne; Lallana, Schneiderlin, Cork, Puncheon; Lambert, Rodriguez. It'd be hard to see that team failing to get promoted, and though we may realistically lose a few of those players, we could afford to replace them with equally good players (we could also have Sharp, Mayuka, Ward-Prowse, Guly, etc.). Anyway, this subject has been discussed several times before, so moving on...

The key to surviving an onslaught of negativity on this forum is to fight it with over-the-top, cringeworthy, sickening positivity. Constantly remind yourselves and others that we are still only in year three of a five-year plan, that the Championship is pretty fun anyway, especially when you're winning it, that we have lots of lovely money, and of course, use all the "Adkinisms" in your vocabulary.

My final thought is that we could spread even more delicious positivity on our buttery Saints toast with a better mascot. What the hell is saintly about a dog anyway? I have devised with some more appropriate, saint-related costumes with my awesome MS Paint skills:

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Thoughts?

 

Yeah, I'm bored this evening.

 

I salute you.

 

One positive to being (hypothetically) demoted to the Championship is that it would much easier to blood our academy players as Adam and Morgan were a few years ago and have a decent warchest to strengthen the squad overall.
Having said that...IT WON'T HAPPEN, we will be a top ten Premiership side in 2 years!....



Santa is a Saints fan...Santa is a Saints fan..lalalala

 

Seconded excellent post Joe!

 

Nope ur a happy clapper reetard.

When we go down I'm goin 2 kill miself and then lauf at u all cuz i told u all.

 

If you're wearing sandals clap ur hands!....

 

I don't think many main players will go. Ramirez will, Lambert and Schneiderlin might. Lallana won't I'm confident of it. The only other players who will go are people like De Ridder, Chaplow, Hammond, Guly etc.

 

Cheers guys.

Yes, ironically we'd probably have been more prepared for the Premier League had we not gone straight through the Championship. The likes of Sinclair, Moore, Chambers, Hoskins, Stephens, etc. would presumably get some game time, obviously along with Shaw and JWP unless they're nicked by a big club.

 

Lallana would go if we went down i am afraid

 

I think he'd stay for one season and if we aren't promoted then he'll go, I think he's the most loyal player at our club.

 

I fear we'll lose Schneiderlin and Steven Davis too, however it would allow Ward-Prowse to be first choice.

 

If we, heaven forbid, go down, it will be because what we have isn't good enough, we would have to start again from scratch, another five year plan.

 

I don't think so. I reckon this current squad could improve quite a lot simply by ageing a year.

 

If we go down, no biggie. More games, cheaper tickets. Fine by me.

 

More games, cheaper tickets, bellends pissing off, still the same club. All sounds good to me.

 

I have just thought of a negative. I'd have to see you more often.

 

Good post Joe, hard to disagree with any of it.

Re: the dog, isn't he a Saint Bernard?

 

Crap.

Still, I prefer my Saint Mary.