Stupid American

I know its abit old, but read it anyway.


3. NEWCASTLE UNITED
• American Comparison: The Oakland Raiders.




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If you long to wear old-school prison garb, then Newcastle is the team for you.• Nickname: The Magpies.


• In a Nutshell: They're named after a beer I actually like. What's better than that? Plus, these guys received more e-mails just about their wild fans than anyone else, including "their fans are like the Raiders [fans] times 10" … "the most violently dedicated fans in the world and they never win" … "you think Boston is a port city that obsesses over a team, go to Newcastle, there is no city more filled with more drunk (read, absolutely sloshed) college-aged kids in the world" … "their fans are terrific: they are the most blue-collar, passionate, loyal, and drunk off their ass fans in the league that sing songs like 'Who the F*** are Manchester United.'" … "they inspire such enmity in their rivals that I have been verbally abused no less than four times by strangers for wearing their jersey."


• Bandwagon Potential: Pretty low. Unless you're an ex-convict.


• Celebrity Fans: Tony Blair, Sting and AC/DC singer Brian Johnson. Three guys with a ton in common.


• Colors/Jerseys: Classic black-and-white striped jerseys that look like they were rejected from the Foot Locker headquarters. I can't decide if these are gloriously fantastic or unspeakably horrendous. It's really one or the other.


• Signature Player: Michael Owen, the England star who blew out his knee during the World Cup. Apparently, Newcastle is famous for spending money on guys who either crap the bed or have something horrible happen to them.


• Unintentional Comedy: During a 2005 game, two Newcastle teammates famously got into a fistfight during a game and both got red-carded. Now THAT, my friends, is a dysfunctional franchise. Here's the YouTube clip if you don't believe me.


• Sponsor: Take a guess.


• Stadium: St. James Park, which has been around in various forms since 1891. That's 115 years of dried puke.


• Vacation Destination: Not a complete disaster. One reader reports, "The city itself is a blue-collar town that has made a resurgence of sorts as a popular spring break destination. They are thinking about building UK's first Super Casino." Um, a super casino?


• Most Hated Rival: Sunderland, a team that can't even crack the EPL right now. That's a bad sign.


• Random Fact that I Found Interesting: Newcastle's No. 9 jersey is the most famous jersey in the EPL -- called the Shirt of Legends -- and was most notably worn by Hughie Gallacher, who led them to their last title in 1925, eventually departed the club under controversial circumstances and committed suicide in 1957. Newcastle hasn't won the EPL since. Somebody get Dan Shaughnessy on the phone.


• Can't Decide if This is a Bonus Reason For or Against: According to the readers, "They have a rabid fan base from a depressed former industrial town where the accent makes fans' speech absolutely incomprehensible," which they call "Geordie" (like it's a real language). In other words, it's just like Rhode Island.


(Bonus reason to pick them: Did I mention they're named after a beer? As one reader points out, "There is no better way to announce your team allegiance during a match when you first walk into a bar; the bartender asks what are you having and you can proudly announce 'Newcastle.' Often gets a beer raise and nod of the head from the other Newcastle fans watching the match." Sounds like fun.


• Single Best Reason NOT to Pick Them: The tortured history. For instance, they famously blew a 12-point lead down the stretch in '96 that sounds suspiciously like the 14-game lead that the Red Sox blew in '78. I'd rather not go down that road again. But I'm going to make a more concerted effort to drink their beer.




Named after a beer?

 

Americans are just fat ****s. They enjoy boring sports like Nascar.

 

can you post the link mate?

 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060719_2

There you go
Theres a link at the top of that page to read the first part of it. It will make more sense once your on it

 

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"• Nickname: The Spurs. This is important: You either call then "Tottenham Hotspur" or you call them "the Spurs," but no other option is acceptable."

How about just Spurs...

Speaking of The Spurs, when's the The Spurs game next on?

 

'Named after a beer'

I do think Americans as a whole get a lot of bad press of English people though, and they're not even all that fat it's just Texas pretty much single handedly drags them down I actually find them to be a very amiable set of people from my travels - very hospitable indeed.

 

You are treated like some sort of creature from middle-earth when you're over there though...

 

Brown Ale, or simply "Newcastle" is insanely popular in the US. Check out the US Brown Ale website in comparison to the UK site, theirs is a full blown interactive movie for ****s sake .

 

Is he implying we were sponsored by Brown Ale then? Because that's stupid...

 

Someone on here posted a video of an American Aston Villa fan, who was talking about how he hated Newcastle and how when they played them tomorrow (it was the day before we beat them 6-0 ) it would be a repeat of when they got us relegated. I remember he was smoking a Cigar (coughed on it) and poured Brown Ale on the ground to show how he hated Newcastle

Can anyone find that video?!

 

Some yanks really are total ****wits.

 

Ive been in the middle of a Nevada desert before, and they've have brown ale in the fridge

 

Haha, it was always positive attention for me though. The majority of them absolutely adore us Brits, loads of birds all "Oh mah gawd honey are yew British, ah just lurve yer acceyent", never had that kind of attention back in England

The funniest thing is that they can't seem to differentiate much between accents. I'm quite noticeably Geordie and they all thought I was James Bond or something. Of course they were sadly disappointed after five minutes of my patter

 

I like making crap up about the country, funny as hell.

Once I had this lass convinced the lambton worm was real and I lived in some sort of medieval village!

 

That Lambton worm bit's a good one.

I told someone that where I live we only got running water and electricity ten years ago and she fell for it. Couldn't believe she didn't even realise I was taking the piss.

 

have you read page 2

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=EPL/fans/newcastle

 

I think some people's sense of humor is missing lads.

 

remember that, pouring it out saying he was wasting Newcastle Brown Ale and saying how Villa were gonna waste us tomorrow
Looked for it but I think he deleted it

 

hey guys this is the team for me you betcha last god daam dollar were going to kick nickys but ,yup we suuure are,hey edna get me a beer you asshole