The sad thing is you could almost imagine it to be true!!: Blogs Steve Bruce unable to explain rules of football to six Back of the Net A surprisingly funny football blog(Four Four Two) Back of the Net See all posts Steve Bruce unable to explain rules of football to six-year-old child Wednesday 29 February 2012 14:20 The currently unemployed coach got himself in quite a pickle. Back of the Net's John Foster sprays us with his fact hose... Former Sunderland manager Steve Bruce has proved incapable of explaining the rules of football to Andrew Gould, a six-year-old child, sources were reporting yesterday. Bruce, who has had a virtually uninterrupted career in the game for over thirty years, apparently struggled to outline even the most basic concepts of the sport, leaving Gould bewildered and close to tears. âYou have to score more goals, right, your team, yeah, which is you and ten other blokes, so eleven, or ladies, if youâre a lady, which youâre not, obviously, plus the substitutes, including the goalie and the substitute goalie if you have one, hang on,â he started. âThereâs eleven of you, right, well not of you, but of your mates, or rather ten of your mates, plus you, and thereâs the manager, yeah, who stands on the side and tells you where to kick it, which is into the goal, not your goal but the other goal, and when you kick it into that goal youâve got one goal.â Noting Gould's confusion, an increasingly sweaty Bruce tried again. âImagine this pencil is John Mensah, and this glass of port is Craig Gordon or sometimes Simon Mignolet. This chunk of brie, here, is offside. Would you like some brie? Iâll just finish it off, then.â The former Manchester United defenderâs stumbling attempts to address the six-year-old continued for close to 20 minutes, and four further glasses of port, until a squirming Gould demanded to be allowed to watch Power Rangers. Bruceâs former captain at Sunderland, Lorik Cana, told FourFourTwo.com that Bruce had often struggled to communicate with his players at the Stadium of Light. âDuring team-talks heâd shout out a lot of abstract nouns, like âpassionâ, and âdesireâ, and âsugarâ,â Cana recalled. âOften his mouth would open and close, like a fleshy carp, with no sound coming out. Then heâd poke at a blackboard with a stick, even if nothing was written on it. âHe spent one half-time just reciting the names of Pokemon characters, before bringing on Andy Reid for Lee Cattermole and shouting âCharmeleon, I choose you.ââ At the time of writing, Bruce was struggling to explain the plot of Pokemon to his 78-year old mother.
heh heh heh heh Now I understand why the players were running around like headless chickens a few months ago! Suddenly it all makes sense! Poor Brucie just aint picking up enough credit for stearing us to a realistic for Sunderland 4th from bottom of the league. Poor Brucie
