John Terry was said to be inconsolable tonight after Chelsea lost to Birmingham on penalties in the Women's Cup Final. With 90 minutes played Chelsea were leading by a single goal and Terry had already left his place in the stand and was busy changing into his strip and putting on his shin pads so that he could rush onto the pitch and join in with the victory celebrations. As he re-appeared at the side of the pitch the unthinkable happened and Birmingham equalised in stoppage time. To save embarrassment he quickly returned to the gents under the stand at Ashton Gate and slipped into a tracksuit (nicked for him by his mum from Matalan). As the match approached half time in extra time he could be seen jumping for joy and tugging at the zip on his tacky-tracky top as Chelsea once again took the lead. His joy was short-lived as Birmingham equalised once again in the second half of extra time. The match went to penalties. Terry was seen at the side of the pitch, fumbling with the zip. He was absolutely desperate to get on the pitch to celebrate with "his girls", all of whom appear in his little black book (including those who "bat for the other side" and who he had made it his job to show them "what they were missing from a relationship with a real man"). The crowd went wild as Birmingham won the cup on penalties and Terry could be seen prostrate at the side of the pitch, sobbing uncontrolably. Police have just released a statement in which they express their concern as they have received information that Terry had been taken out to a local bar by his friend Ray "Butch" Wilkins so he can drown his sorrows. It is also possible that he has a few little packets supplied to him by his father "to help with the pain". If anyone knows of Mr Terry's whereabouts they should phone the samaritans.
Good one, Eamon. I'm guessing that where you find women, it isn't particularly unusual to also find Terry fumbling with his zip.
Good one Eamon. i only have to see the name John Terry and i am laughing.. he is right up there with the great comic characters of our times.. along with Mr Pastry and Sooty..
Bloody hell ... Mr Pastry! I didn't know you were that old! [video=youtube;f0DXDV1xThU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=f0DXDV1xThU[/video]
